


confessions

by sungshinelog



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bang Chan & Lee Felix are Related, Bang Chan & Lee Felix are Siblings, Bang Chan & Seo Changbin are Best Friends, Crushes, First Love, Hwang Hyunjin & Lee Felix are Best Friends, M/M, So is Chan, best friends brother trope, but like not quite - Freeform, changbin is a soccer player, hwang hyunjin is pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 19,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23474650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sungshinelog/pseuds/sungshinelog
Summary: It wasn’t always like this: Hyunjin pining after Changbin. It all sort of came about one night, when Hyunjin was sleeping over at Felix’s.Hyunjin is head over heals for his best friend's brother's best friend... what a mouthful XD
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin
Comments: 32
Kudos: 162





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi hi, I present this weird epitome of my downfall into everything relating to ChangJin. I just LOVE them uwu.
> 
> I had this idea a long time ago and I'm only barely writing it out now. This will have chapters!! Not sure how many, but expect a few frequent updates over the week :)

"We're late!"

"Does it matter?"

"Of course!" Hyunjin emphasized, dragging Felix across the courtyard. "This game is very important to our friends! We have to be there to support them."

"Yeah, okay."Felix snickered, the comment obviously sarcastic. Hyunjin didn't like his tone.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"As if we both don't know that- as Changbin's number one fan- you have to be front and center for every game." Hyunjin wanted to be affronted but his pink tinted cheeks proved otherwise.

"Can we just get to the game, please?!" Hyunjin was exasperated, yielding the two as a large group of people crossed their path. He huffed, quickly sidestepping them to continue on their way.

"Whipped." Felix mumbled, trying to be discreet. Hyunjin still pinched him anyway.

They spotted Jeongin- who so graciously saved them a spot near the front. Bless his soul for always being so considerate. "What'd we miss?" Hyunjin asked, out of breath as he sat with the younger boy.

"They haven't started yet, something about the other team's bus breaking down." Luck was on his side apparently. He glanced over to the field, catching sight of Chan who waved to the trio first. Then, his eyes landed on the very reason he had run to the game, Changbin smiling wide when he saw his friends. He waved too, Hyunjin more enthusiastic as he returned the gesture. Felix elbowed him in the ribs.

"You're lovesick is showing." He laughed at his own joke and Hyunjin pouted, hoping Jeongin would be of some help. The boy merely shrugged, apparently on Felix's side for this one. He hated them sometimes.

"Whatever," He chose not to comment on the fact that Felix was the same way about Seungmin, heaven forbid he get elbowed again.

Besides, it was because of Felix that he even knew Changbin.

Hyunjin was five years old when he first laid eyes on the new Australian kid. He took a liking to him early on because he talked funny and his small hand was the perfect size to slot with Hyunjin's. He pretty much just dragged the boy everywhere until they were best friends. Their close friendship soon led to sleepovers and that was when Hyunjin first met Chan, Felix's older brother. He'd been sweet to him, even gave him some of his candy. And maybe Hyunjin would have fallen for Chan had Changbin not entered the picture.

Changbin was Chan's best friend. He'd introduced the younger ones to him one night, during dinner. Chan had told everyone that Changbin was really cool because he played soccer and he was the best player on the team.

"I want to join soccer too, Mom can I?" Chan had asked between bites. His mother simply smiled, telling him that they'd figure it out tomorrow.

And oh were things figured out. A week later, Chan was on the team and pretty much every waking moment of the rest of the four boys lives were lived on the soccer field. 

Most Saturdays, when Hyunjin went over to Felix's house, they went to Chan's games and that was an all day occurrence. After school, Felix would have to wait for his brother before going home, thus looping in Hyunjin as well. They spent most afternoons sitting on the grass, doing homework as they watched the older boys play. Hyunjin could admit that it was fun, his favorite time even. Because almost everyday, he was seeing Changbin.

Eventually, the game did start, Hyunjin shouting as loud as he could whenever Changbin so much as neared the ball. He was enthusiastic about soccer, okay? Not because Changbin looked so stunning, even as sweat ran down his face. Felix would surely laugh at him about that comment later.

He cheered even louder when Changbin scored a goal, wanting so badly to yell that he was so proud, so proud and happy for his crush. Changbin did at least smile at him and maybe Hyunjin swooned for a second too long.

The game ended at 3-2, their team just barely missing a tie. Everyone got up to leave, but Hyunjin clambered down the bleachers to the field. "You guys were awesome!" Even though he meant it for the whole team, his eyes were solely focused on Changbin.

Changbin was already looking at him, toothy grin as he hit Hyunjin's chest playfully. "Don't be sappy. You get like this every game." Which was true. He just couldn't help the bubbly rush of emotions he felt every time their team one. Everytime Changbin won.

"Well it's your fault for playing a great game," The compliments just wanted to spill out, but he stopped at the one, red in the face already. Changbin looked pleased, holding his heart in mock sincerity.

"Your words are all I need to keep going strong." He wiped a tear and it was Hyunjin's turn to smack him playfully. "Hey!"

"You deserve it you loser." Hyunjin wondered if Changbin could hear the fond that laced his voice, even with the name calling.

"Celebratory pizza?" Chan asked, nearing their little group with a smile. Jeongin was the first to nod.

"Oh no, you know I'm trying to watch my weight." The whiney voice belonged to Chan's boyfriend, Lee Minho. Hyunjin rolled his eyes. Minho was "always" on a diet, but he's sure he's seen him sneak chocolates whenever he's over at Chan's.

"Well, what does my favorite boy want then?" Chan asked, pulling in Minho once he was close enough to touch. His eyes lit up.

"Sushi!"

"Well aren't you a spoiled brat." Changbin teased. Minho pouted and Chan tried to make amends.

"Baby, you know sushi is pricey-"

"Which is why I'm paying." He flashed them a black credit card. Jeongin’s eyes widened and he tried to reach for it. “Ah, don’t touch. Daddy would be mad.” Jeongin rolled his eyes. That explained it.

“Baby, you can’t keep stealing your dad’s card.” Chan tsked, reaching for the card himself. Minho giggled, moving it away while also sneaking a kiss.

“I can and I will, gotta get my boy the best.” Chan tried his hardest not to smile.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever, we all know that this is more for you than it is for Chan.” Changbin noted, pulling his uniform shirt up to wipe off some sweat. Hyunjin tried so hard not to glance down at the exposed skin (keyword: tried).

“Who cares, it’s free food!” Felix shouted, gathering everyone’s attention. “Now, can you please go shower? You guys stink.” Changbin and Chan shared a look before jumping, both boys attempting to soak Felix in their stench. “Gah! Why must I suffer?” And Hyunjin thought he was a drama king. After a little more rough housing, the boys gathered their gear and retreated to the lockers. Felix and Hyunjin went to wait by Chan’s car.

“Some things never change.” Hyunjin half mumbled as Chan and Changbin neared the car. Things were different: Chan had a boyfriend now, Jeongin tagged along, but that never stopped Chan and Changbin from arguing over what dessert they’d have after dinner.

“Ice cream, you can never go wrong with ice cream.” Changbin relented, but Chan was shaking his head.

“Let’s buy a cake, cake is such a better thing to celebrate with.” They went back and forth a few more times on the drive to the sushi restaurant. “Felix, tell him cake’s the best!” Felix just shook his head.

“Will you guys ever grow up?” He teased, smiling even though he was annoyed.

“Just be a good brother and support me, will you?” Chan tried to reason. Felix shook his head and Chan was left to whine. “Felix! Come on!”

“Ha, I win.” Chan can’t take the loss.

“Nope, no.” He grinned at Hyunjin, pleading with his eyes. “Hyunjin, help me!” Felix snorted. Hyunjin scowled. Chan still no idea he had feelings for Changbin and Hyunjin wanted to keep it that way so-

“Cake is the best.” He grinned, sweet and sugary and Changbin scowled.

“You guys suck.” Changbin complained, slamming the car door when they arrived. Hyunjin was the first to run after him. He was pretty sure he heard Felix make a snarky comment about ‘making up’ but he ignored it as he caught up to Changbin.

“Don’t take it personally, we all have our preferences.” Hyunjin tried to console. Changbin rarely got mad at him, and he figured this was just Changbin being moody. He was proven right when Changbin humphed, looking away with a very pointed chin. Hyunjin had to giggle, which caused Changbin to giggle and then it was a full on laughfest. “Are you okay now?” As if he really had to ask. Changbin still nodded, smiling warmly at the younger boy.

“You always make me smile, you know that.” The warmth that filled Hyunjin seeped into his eyes. He was pretty sure he looked like the heart eye emoji at the moment. “Come on, let’s get the table.”


	2. whispered confessions

It wasn’t always like this: Hyunjin pining after Changbin. It all sort of came about one night, when Hyunjin was sleeping over at Felix’s.

The boys had gathered in the living room, building a pillow fort with the couch cushions. The boys were giggling, Felix trying to hush their laughter as they slipped under the blankets. They only lasted a few minutes before they heard a noise, both boys perking up. Felix got a wicked grin on his face.

“I bet that’s Chan trying to find the cookies, let’s go look!” They scurried out, both giggling as they made their way to the kitchen. Chan’s voice was hushed, Changbin laughing at him. Changbin had also been sleeping over that night, Hyunjin remembered. They startled at the flashlight Felix pointed at them. “What do you think you’re doing?” Chan had a hand over his heart when he turned around. When he saw his younger brother, he sighed.

“It thought you were mom.” He hissed, turning back around in search of cookies.

“I could call her.” Felix teased.

“You wouldn’t dare.” Chan turned back to glare and Felix made to yell. “Fine! We’ll share, now keep quiet.” Triumphant, Felix smiled at Hyunjin.

“Now we get cookies.” Once the Oreos were secured, they all gathered on the kitchen island. The boys were both immersed in their own conversations, that was until Changbin said something that caught Felix's attention.

“Whatever happened with Woojin?" He said to Chan, Chan giving him a death glare.

"Can we not talk about this right now." He sounded annoyed. Hyunjin looked between the pair.

"Woojin, as in Woojin hyung who was over for dinner the other night?" Felix asked. Chan groaned.

“He was over for dinner?” Changbin probed.

“It’s not that serious.” Chan sighed. “Besides, he’s just helping me with my studies.”

“That doesn’t stop you from wanting to suck his face off.” Chan pushed Changbin, the boy only howling with laughter.

“What does Changbin mean you want to suck his face off?” Hyunjin asked and Chan could only groan again.

“Ah younglings, this is matters between adults.” Felix scoffed.

“We’re not kids anymore hyung.” Changbin just smiled. Chan and Changbin were sixteen, if Hyunjin memory serves him correctly. Hyunjin had just turned thirteen, Felix a few months behind him. He thought Felix was being a little too presumptuous in saying they weren’t kids. Hyunjin still had his lunch made for him.

“Let’s just say that when boys reach a certain age, they get feelings they can’t control.” Changbin tried to explain.

“And one of those feelings is sucking someone’s face off?” Felix had a look of disgust.

“Kissing.” Chan interrupted. “Changbin means kissing.”

“You want to kiss Woojin hyung!” Felix exclaimed. Chan clambered to put a hand over Felix’s mouth

“People are sleeping.” He reminded in a hushed voice. Chan quickly took his hand back after Felix licked it. “You’re gross.”

“You are, you want to kiss Woojin.” Chan blushed.

“It’s human nature Lix.” Changbin said, like he was spewing wise words. “It’s a part of being human and one day you’ll want to kiss boys too. Or girls.” Felix still seemed against it, frowning.

“No thank you. I don’t think I want to kiss anyone.” If only young Felix knew that would change the day he met Kim Seungmin. Changbin shrugged, looking over at Hyunjin.

“How about you? Anyone you want to kiss?” Hyunjin had felt small under his gaze, not sure what to say. He hadn’t really thought about it, this was all new to him. He bit his lip. “Or are you just going to join Felix in chastity?” The tone he used was very much teasing and Hyunjin for some reason hated the way it sounded. Hyunjin was quick to shake his head. He wanted to be cool. “So you do have someone you want to kiss?” For some strange reason, Hyunjin felt compelled to say-

“Changbin hyung.” Chan had burst into laughter and Hyunjin’s whole face grew hot. Changbin didn’t seem angered by his answer, instead he had a sort of wistful smile as he looked at him.

“Maybe when you’re older, kid.”

That had pretty much ended their time together. Felix soon dragged Hyunjin away and the older boys shut themselves back in Chan’s room and when the next morning came, it was almost like that conversation had never happened. But Hyunjin couldn’t forget what he said and, yes he was young and stupid, but the older he got, the more he realized that maybe there was some truth to those words so long ago. Because Changbin had been right. Pretty much right after Hyunjin had turned sixteen, he’d started noticing things.

His eyes lingered on the way Changbin’s uniform fit over his shoulders- he’d been working out more. His arm muscles were impressive and Hyunjin liked to watch him run, watch the way sweat dripped down his forehead. It should have been gross, Hyunjin knows that it’s not exactly a pretty thing to watch someone sweat, but just like Changbin had said, certain feelings were hard to control.

“Shouldn’t you be at dance practice?” Felix asked when he took the spot next to him in the grass.

“It got cancelled.” He responded, eyes already fixated on the way Changbin’s legs muscles moved. Felix snorted, reaching for his homework.

“Instead of staring, why don’t you help me with vocab? I can’t understand a thing on this page.” With much difficulty, Hyunjin tore his gaze away, sinking into the work Felix gave him. They worked the entire practice, not even realizing it until Chan had walked up.

“Do you plan on staying here all night?” Hyunjin pouted as he saw the empty field.

“Everyone left?” He hoped Chan wouldn’t notice the disappointment in his voice.

“Yep, so we should go too.” Hyunjin had no choice, but to follow Felix and Chan as they headed to their car. “You’re sure you don’t need a ride?” Chan asked as they neared his car. Hyunjin shook his head.

“My mom said she’d pick me up today.” He waved them off, pulling out his phone to see he had a message from his mother.  _ I’ll be there in five. _

Hyunjin took a seat on the curb, glancing at the setting sun in the distance. It sure was pretty. He sometimes liked to imagine sitting with Changbin, head on his shoulder as they watched the sunset. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” That’s exactly what he would say, and then he’d peek up at him through his lashes- “Hyunjin?” He shrieked, because he was now realizing that the Changbin voice he’d thought he conjured up, was real. He glanced up at him, a freshly showered Changbin regarding him with laughter. “Did I scare you?”

“No! I mean no, I just wasn’t expecting to see anyone.” He mumbled as he moved his eyes away. Suddenly, he turned back. “I thought you’d gone home?”

“I was showering, Chan was probably just in a hurry to leave. You know how he is when Minho calls.” Hyunjin laughed. Of course he knew, the whole school knew. Chan was always at Minho’s beck and call. He thought it was cute though, maybe he’d have that one day. “What are you still doing here? Don’t you usually leave with Chan and Felix?” Hyunjin got a warm feeling at the thought that Changbin kept tabs on him. Then again, it wasn’t brand new information. Hyunjin has been getting rides for years, Changbin just happened to be around for most of those times. 

“Yeah, but my mom said she’d pick me up today.” Changbin nodded, not making a point to leave. It made Hyunjin’s heart race, more so when Changbin sat down next to him. “What are you doing?”

“Waiting with you, what else?” Hyunjin had to turn away. God he wished Changbin didn’t make him blush so hard. “How’s dance going?” Another thing to make Hyunjin’s mind go haywire.

“Good. Great. Uh-” Hyunjin’s never directly told Changbin he was a part of the dance team, but he figured he’d been around enough to hear Hyunjin talking about it with Felix. “We have a show coming up.” Changbin raised a brow.

“Yeah? Where at?”

"Hongdae, the team wants to go busking." Changbin nodded.

"Sounds cool. You going to invite me?" He was smirking. Hyunjin knew he was teasing, but he loved the idea of it anyway. 

"You're always welcome to come." His voice was quiet, Changbin leaning closer.

"What was that?" 

"You- of course- can come." He stuttered out. The close proximity was doing things to his brain. Changbin laughed at him. Before he could ask him what day, a minivan was pulling up. It was Hyunjin’s mom. He quickly stood up, waving awkwardly to Changbin as he rushed inside. Changbin was still smiling as he waved him off and Hyunjin felt so stupid when he realized he never told Changbin what day they would be busking.


	3. white day confessions

Hyunjin wished last Valentine's Day never happened.

  


It was the first year Hyunjin really had a grasp on his feelings, admitting to his one confidant of the situation. “I knew it.”

  


“What do you mean ‘you knew’?!” Sure Felix was his best friend, the one person who knew him the best, but Hyunjin couldn’t wrap his head around the idea that Felix knew all along.

  


“I mean, ‘I knew'. You’re pretty obvious.”

  


“How?” He just had to hear what Felix was going to say.

  


“Don’t think I haven’t caught you staring at him during practice. And don’t even get me started on your trips to the ‘bathroom,’” He put air quotes around it, Hyunjin suddenly very aware of where this conversation was going. “You took so long one time that I had to come find you and guess what I saw.” It was rhetorical, but Hyunjin felt compelled to answer.

  


“That was one time!”

  


“You say that now! But I bet you only stopped because you’d been caught.” Hyunjin had nothing to protest so he settled with crossing his arms. “Ha, I knew it!” That was the start of the endless teasing from his best friend, which on a regular day never got to him. However, a few days before Valentine’s Day, the boys were doing homework in the living room when Chan and Changbin had come back from a late practice.

  


“Of course you don’t care, you know Minho will ask you.” Changbin sounded angry, Hyunjin glancing up at them as they continued their very loud conversation.

  


“No, just because we’ve been texting for the past week does not mean he’ll ask me.”

  


“Just keep telling yourself that.” Changbin was frowning and it made Hyunjin frown. Was he upset that Minho liked Chan? Did he like Minho? Hyunjin felt his heart sinking.

  


“Can you guys keep it down? Some of us are actually doing work over here.” Felix shouted, not sparing them more attention after that and typing away at his computer. Hyunjin thought he’d go back to the books too, but Changbin spoke up again.

  


“It’s just unfair, no one’s ever asked me to be their Valentine.” He sounded hurt and Hyunjin didn’t like it. He wanted him to smile again.

  


“Things change, man. Watch,come February 14th, you’ll have so many begging for that spot, you won’t even be able to choose.” Changbin finally smiled and Hyunjin quickly ducked his head when Changbin suddenly turned their way. They didn’t say anything more and they went off to Chan’s room.

  


“Did you hear that?!” Felix smacked his shoulder. Hyunjin yelped.

  


“Duh, we’re in the same room idiot.” Felix chuckled, typing again.

  


“You should ask him.”

  


“What? No way! He wouldn’t want to be my Valentine.” So, maybe he entertained the idea for a minute too long when Changbin had brought it up. That doesn’t change the fact that Changbin only sees him as a younger brother. “He’ll think I’m weird.”

  


“I think he’d be appreciative, you’d be his first Valentine.” Felix squealed. “That’s romantic!” Hyunjin sighed. There was a week before the big day. He could think about it.

  


Their school had a booth in the courtyard the following day.  _ Valentine’s grams! _ it advertised. Hyunjin regarded the crowd of students with curiosity, treading lightly. One of the members running the booth spotted him, standing in front of him in seconds. “Thinking of what to do for your special someone?” He gestured to the booth. “We’re here to help! For a few dollars we’ll sing a song of your choosing to that special someone on Valentine's Day. All proceeds go to our art division. What do you say?” There were already so many eager takers and Hyunjin fell back, shaking his head. “No problem, man. But if you change your mind, we’ll be here all week.” Hyunjin simply nodded, walking off to where Felix waited for him.

  


A few days went by where Hyunjin absolutely refused to think about it. He passed the booth every lunch, watching as more and more people signed up. Girls laughed, boys blushed. Hyunjin was one second away from breaking. What really made him cave was the morning before Valentine’s Day. Chan had been alone that morning, said something about Changbin needing to finish a project. The dutiful boy that Hyunjin was, he knew Changbin hardly ever ate breakfast unless he was with them. So with a smile, he grabbed an apple and headed in the direction of the library.

  


He didn’t expect to find Changbin laughing hysterically with someone Hyunjin didn’t recognize. He stopped short of their table, hiding behind a bookshelf to see - or hear- what they were talking about. “Hyung, come on, you should!” Changbin was giggling now, hitting the other boys chest playfully. It didn’t sit well with Hyunjin when Changbin’s hand lingered there.

  


“No, no. You’re much better at it than I am.” He was beaming, a smile Hyunjin never knew Changbin had in him.

  


“It’s just a few lines. It would be fun!” Changbin shook his head and the boy neared his face with his. Hyunjin’s eyes widened at the interaction, watching with bated breaths as Changbin’s laughter sizzled out. The boy was smiling so wide, eyes disappearing as he teased Changbin in mumbled whispers. Eventually, Changbin broke, shoving the boy who laughed loudly. People hushed them to which they just laughed more.

  


The bell rang, both boys standing up and walking off in the other direction of Hyunjin. Hyunjin decided then and there he was going to send Changbin a singing gram. Except, when he got to the table, the courage he once had dissolved when it asked who the gram was from. Plain and simple, he just had to write it was for Changbin, but when it came to signing his own name, he paled. The girl was waiting on him expectantly and he felt anxiety clawing at him. He bit his lip and it only took another moment before he was writing something down. It wasn’t his name.

  


Valentine’s Day came and all through the day, Hyunjin watched as many of his fellow peers received a singing gram. To say he was nervous, was an understatement. He was sweating bullets as the day came to an end, Hyunjin almost stalling when the end of the day came. But, he knew Felix was waiting so he made it out to the soccer field, noticing a new face with his best friend. Felix waved at the confused boy, beckoning him closer as he walked in their direction. He wasn’t sure what the look on younger's face meant, but he didn’t think it was a good one. Especially when he saw the boy’s face up close.

  


“Hyunjin, meet Jisung.” The boy waved shyly, a contrast to the confidence he’d seen in the library yesterday. “Changbin brought him along.” Hyunjin’s face threatened to fall, but he pushed through with an awkward smile.

  


“Oh.”

  


“Isn’t Changbin hyung wonderful.” Jisung suddenly gushed, staring at him as the soccer boys practiced their plays. “Fighting!” He exclaimed, Changbin smiling their way as he continued. Felix made eye contact with Hyunjin, trying to speak with expressions alone. Hyunjin gulped, disappointed. The rest of practice, Hyunjin’s heart broke slowly, Jisung explaining to both him and Felix about his day. “I was lucky enough to be the first one to ask Changbin hyung to be  _ my _ Valentine, isn’t that amazing?” Felix nodded, but he made sad eyes at Hyunjin. Hyunjin shook his head. He could get over it. It was bound to happen anyway.

  


"Have you ever thought about why Changbin is still single?" Hyunjin asked one night when he was sleeping over at Felix's. It was late into the night, thoughts muddled from lack of sleep. They were thoughts he often had at 3 AM, but he'd never thought to voice them. Until now.

  


"I don't know, maybe he hasn't found the right person." Felix shrugged, going back to the game he was playing. Hyunjin, who had previously been laying down on the bed, sat up to pout.

  


"But he's definitely had offers! Remember Jisung?" Hyunjin doesn't think he could ever forget. The day after Valentine's, Jisung trailed after Changbin for a week, practically joining their niche that had solely been the four for years. Hyunjin hated every second of it, almost ditching practices to have an excuse to not watch someone so publicly fawn over Changbin.

  


But for whatever reason, the Monday after, it went back to normal. Jisung stopped coming around and Hyunjin never thought to ask why. He was just happy he had Changbin to himself again. Felix cursed as his character got attacked, not being of any help to Hyunjin's overthinking. He sunk back on the bed, wondering if maybe things would have been different had he just signed his name.


	4. timely confessions

Out of breath, Hyunjin fell to the floor. He drank a big gulp of water, smiling at his teammates and nodding to them as they all bid him farewell. He leaned back, sighing. 

He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, wrinkling his nose at his sweaty appearance. He really needed a shower. He let himself sit for another minute before he was gathering his belongings. He shut off the lights as he made his way out.

Hyunjin had been dancing for almost two hours now and he was exhausted, body heavy as he walked the halls. Felix had texted him that Changbin called practice early, so Chan made plans with Minho. Felix offered to wait for him, but Hyunjin had told him to go. He was probably somewhere with Seungmin now. Hyunjin groaned as he thought about the long walk ahead, maybe wishing he wasn’t such a good friend. Not much he could do about it now anyway. He rounded the corner, startled when he crashed into someone. “I’m sorry-”

“Hyunjin.” Said boy paled as it dawned on him who he just crashed into. He lifted his head slowly, brown eyes meeting even more beautiful brown eyes. Changbin had a warm smile on his face as he stared at the younger, Hyunjin feeling his face flaming.

“Hi.” He squeaked, avoiding eye contact. Just his luck to run into his longtime crush when he looked a mess. He probably smelled horrendous, sweat still dripping from his hairline. He hoped Changbin didn’t notice.

“Dance practice over?” He asked, noticing the gym bag slung over Hyunjin’s shoulders. 

“Yeah, just finished.” Changbin nodded, glancing at his phone.

“It’s pretty late.” He commented. He didn’t look like he was in a rush, though, unmoving as Hyunjin nodded. “You walking home?” 

“Yeah, Chan and Felix had things to do.” Hyunjin kind of really wanted to escape this situation right now. He loves being around Changbin, he does, but he can’t stop thinking about how awful he must look, hair probably sticking in odd directions.from how many times he’d run his hands through it for the choreography. His shirt was starting to feel sticky, plastered to his back in an awkward way that made him want to squirm. 

“Hmmm.” The younger thought that was the end and rocked back on his heels, thinking he’d wave and walk away, but Changbin spoke before he could fully turn around. “Do you want a ride?” Hyunjin froze, hand ready to wave, but stopping short at his words. He gawked at Changbin, wondering if maybe he’d heard him wrong, but when Changbin continued to stare at him inquisitively, he sputtered.

“Oh, you don’t have t-to. It’s fine, r-really.” Changbin was shaking his head, reaching for Hyunjin’s arm. He wrapped his hand around his wrist, tugging him toward the parking lot. Hyunjin really hoped Changbin couldn’t feel his pulse right now.

“It’s not a problem. Can’t have you walking these streets alone, especially when it’s almost dark.”

“It’s not that dark-”

“No arguing.” He wagged his finger at him, laughing as he turned back, unlocking his car and opening the passenger seat. “Go on.” Hyunjin blushed as he stepped in, unnerved by the whole ordeal. Changbin was really taking him home right now. He was in Changbin’s car. Changbin slid into his own seat, putting the key in the ignition and starting the car with a roar. Hyunjin gulped, reality settling in. It got worse when Changbin reached over, pulling at the seat belt to clip it into place. Hyunjin was very aware of their proximity, breath catching as Changbin lingered. Eventually, Changbin glanced up at him, an odd look in his eyes that went away when Hyunjin finally inhaled. He leaned back. “Let’s get you home.”

Chan was always the designated driver for everything the four boys did. To be in Changbin's car now was like a new world experience. For one, he was sitting in the passenger seat. He was so used to sitting in the back, talking with Felix as the older boys talked amongst themselves. Second, Changbin was driving. And it was actually kind of hot, in that weird  _ 'driving with one hand is pretty cool' _ kind of way. When Changbin glanced over at him, Hyunjin ducked his head down, embarrassed at being caught staring. Changbin didn't say anything, Hyunjin worrying his bottom lip. "I've never driven anyone home before. " Changbin suddenly admitted. 

"Huh?"

"You're the first person I've ever driven home before." Changbin repeated, but Hyunjin had heard him. He was just surprised by his words.

"Guess I'm just that special." Hyunjin tried to joke, but Changbin didn't laugh. That odd look was back.

"Guess you are." Hyunjin's breath caught, at a loss for words. "Don't let it get to your head now." Changbin laughed and Hyunjin could finally breathe again. He smacked Changbin's arm playfully and the boy shrieked. "Not while I'm driving!"

"It's your fault! You started it!"

"Did not!" Changbin was so childish sometimes, but that was one of the many reasons he loved the boy so dearly. He let himself imagine, for just a moment, that this was his life. That Changbin was his boyfriend, driving him home after a hard day and that when he dropped him off, he'd lean over the console to kiss him silly. Hyunjin's face flamed at the thought, facing away so Changbin wouldn't notice. "You'll be at the game Saturday, right?" Like he had to ask. Hyunjin nodded anyway. "That's good." By now, they were pulling up to Hyunjin's house. "Listen, I'm having a party after the game this weekend. You should come. I mean, I kind of expected you to come anyway since Chan was going to be there and he was probably going to bring Felix… but I just wanted to invite you personally. " He was smiling, a beautiful smile for a beautiful boy. Yet it lacked it's normal confidence, like he half expected Hyunjin to say no. As if he could.

"Of course!"

"Great! See you then." Hyunjin said his goodbye and got out, throwing his bag over his shoulder as Changbin drove away. It was as he unlocked the front door that he realized he'd never given Changbin his address.


	5. drunk confessions

"So you're like his date?"

"No."

"But he personally invited you."

"His exact words were,  _ 'you should come.' _ "

" … as his date."

"Felix!"

"What? I just don't get why he would ask if he already knew you were going to go." Hyunjin just shook his head. So maybe it confused him to no end too, but he wasn't going to assume anything. It was a straightforward interaction. Changbin asked him to go. He said he would. End of story. "I think the date part is supposed to be implied."

"Felix, there's no way he wants me there as his date."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Hyunjin scoffed.

"What about you hot shot? Gonna ask Seungmin to go with us?" Felix sputtered, his tongue not cooperating with him as he tried to form words.

"He- I- no- asdfghjk." He was speaking in tongues, a little English thrown in. Hyunjin cackled.

"Thought so."

"You have no right." Hyunjin smirked.

"Let's just admit we're both cowards and call it even." Felix mumbled something under his breath but otherwise obliged. 

Saturday's game was a win for their team, Changbin having scored the winning goal. He was lifted into the air, chants of his name as he was paraded around. Hyunjin didn't get a chance to congratulate him, leaving a bit early to get ready for the party. 

He was nervous, super nervous, sliding his hands over his skinny jeans to rid himself of his clammy hands. Felix was next to him, trying to talk him up. "Stop worrying, it'll be fine." Changbin opened the door for them when they knocked and Hyunjin swore he forgot how to breathe.

"Glad you guys made it!" He called over the music, pulling the pair in and shutting the door. He was dressed darkly from head to toe. From his black denim jacket to his combat boots. Hyunjin was suddenly self conscious. All he thought to wear was a lame t-shirt. Changbin didn't seem to mind, ushering the boys to the kitchen. Familiar faces waited for them. "Minho, you can stop your whining now." Changbin made a face when Minho squealed, already attacking Chan with kisses. "Get a room!"

"Heard that? I say we do it in his bed."

"Heck no!" Affronted Changbin squabbled with Minho and Hyunjin could only watch on with a smile. "I swear to God Minho, if I find one trace of-"

"Okay, we're done with this conversation." Chan finally intervened. He placed his arm around Minho. "Wanna dance?"

"Sure, but let me get a drink first." He reached for one of the beers on the counter. "I would ask if anyone wants one, but Chan would probably kill me for offering his little brothers alcohol."

"I would not… I would just be very disappointed." Minho chuckled. 

"Whatever you say, babe. We all know you still think of Felix and Hyunjin as kids." Chan rolled his eyes, but didn't disagree and something about the words had Hyunjin frowning. If Chan still thought of them as kids, did that mean Changbin did too? 

"I'll take one." The sudden outburst had everyone turning to Hyunjin. 

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" Chan questioned, leaning closer. "I must have heard you wrong." His confidence wavered, but he kept his head high, stubborn.

"I said, I'll take one." Minho gleefully opened another bottle. Before he could hand it to the younger boy, Felix was blocking him.

"Are you sure?" There was concern in his eyes.

"Of course. We're not kids anymore." He winked and Felix still looked worried, but he let Hyunjin take the beer.

"Look at Hyunjin putting on his big boy pants." Minho cooed. Hyunjin could smell the beer and he had to say, it wasn't pleasant. He took one deep breath before he took his first swig. Immediately, he regretted it, face contorting at the taste. Minho laughed at him. That only riled him on more. He chugged it, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. When he looked around at his friends, they were all shocked. Except Minho, he was already offering him another one.

"I think one is enough." It was Changbin who said it and it made Hyunjin all the more angry. He took the bottle from Minho's hand. He took another long sip, staring very determinedly at Changbin. He was met with confused eyes. 

"Let's dance!" He tugged at Felix and they made their way to the makeshift dance floor. Felix asked him what he was doing and Hyunjin merely giggled. "Being grown up!" Felix shook his head.

"There are better ways to prove that." Hyunjin dismissed his words, dancing more intensely to the song.

He had one more beer (courtesy of an already tipsy Minho) before he was starting to feel dizzy. He staggered into Felix, laughing uncontrollably at nothing in particular. He felt arms holding him up, which he assumed were Felix's, until the person talked. "You should have listened to me." Changbin sighed.  _ Changbin _ . If he wasn't already so pliant, he would have sagged even more into Changbin's hold. He felt himself falling, shouting in fear before he realized he was being dropped onto a bed. It smelled nice.  _ He must be in Changbin's bed _ . It had his head spinning even more. He felt his shoes being pried off and he kicked his legs in protest. 

“Are you trying to get me naked?” He hummed. Changbin sighed, Hyunjin was unsure if it was out of annoyance. He calmed down, sitting up to look at Changbin. The boy was still trying to take off his shoes and Hyunjin reached out, patting his head. Changbin halted. “You’re really nice to me Changbin. I’m sorry for being annoying.”

“You’ve never apologized for being annoying before. Don’t think you need to now.” He was laughing but it still upset Hyunjin. He felt tears pricking at his eyes.

“I’m the worst.” He all but sobbed, Changbin alarmed.

“Hey, hey don’t cry. I was just teasing.” He sat next to him, wiping under the younger’s eyes as more fresh tears fell.

“I’m a baby.” He cried more, thinking about what Minho had said earlier. He was right, Hyunjin was just an oversized toddler. He was hopeless, Changbin would never see him as anything else.

“Yes, but you’re m- our baby.” Changbin tried to reason. Hyunjin still pouted, but he liked the idea of being their baby- more specifically Changbin’s. He gave a weak smile. “Come on, let’s get you into something comfortable. Hyunjin felt his eyelids grow heavy, yawning loudly. Changbin handed him clothes to change into, which he just handed right back.

“Do it for me.” He was too tired and drunk to realize what he was asking, but Changbin was in a panic. He tried to talk Hyunjin into dressing himself, but he wasn’t having it. “I want you to.” It was the last thing he remembered saying. He felt his mouth move, words incoherent to his own ears as he finally drifted off, the after effects of the alcohol hitting hard.


	6. morning confessions

Hyunjin was having the most amazing dream. Changbin was laying beside him, all sleepy and soft. His hair swept over his eyes and he looked so peaceful… Hyunjin just wanted one touch. It wouldn’t hurt anyone, it was a dream, after all. However, when his pointer finger made contact with Changbin’s cheek, it became very apparent that it wasn’t a dream. He squealed, jumping back from the fright and waking Changbin in the process. “What the heck was that for?” He whined, rolling away from the panicked boy. Hyunjin was having trouble breathing.  _ How did he get into this situation? _

Memories of last night hit him like a train, his stupid idea to drink, drunkenly crying to Changbin. He was an embarrassment. He pulled the covers over himself, making Changbin groan. “Don’t hog the blanket. It’s cold.” He tried to tug it back, but Hyunjin wouldn’t give it. He hid until he felt Changbin pulling harder than before. He let up, coming face to face with an annoyed Changbin. “Do you realize what time it is?” Hyunjin hadn’t a clue. “Well it’s before noon, which is a no go on a Sunday morning.” He fell beside Hyunjin, throwing an arm around his waist. “Sleep more.” It suddenly hit Hyunjin that Changbin was still groggy, doing all that he was out of fatigue. Still, the arm draped over him was warm and Hyunjin felt anxious. He wanted to melt, throw his own arm around Changbin, but what would that mean when Changbin was fully awake? He just laid there instead, mind racing with their proximity.

Changbin shifted some, his breath hitting Hyunjin’s neck. It was calming as much as it was different. Hyunjin had never slept so close to someone- excluding Felix- but even then, they never woke up in this position. One draped over the other. He sort of felt happy that Changbin was doing this in his postsleep state. He felt his eyelids growing heavy, sleep taking him under once again.

The next time he woke up, he felt fingers running through his hair. He blinked his eyes open to see an all too endearing Changbin, with soft swept hair and morning eyes. He gasped, making the older aware that he was awake.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, fingers continuing their ministrations even as he tried to sit up. Hyunjin groaned. “Must be a killer headache you have there.” He tapped on Hyunjin’s temple. The younger pulled his head away, immediately regretting his actions. “Silly boy.” Hyunjin whined, feeling pathetic under Changbin’s gaze. He was supposed to prove he was an adult, not get treated like a baby for not being able to handle his liquor. 

“Not silly.” Changbin laughed. He reached over to his night stand, bringing with him a few pills and a glass of water.

“Take this, to help with the pain.” Hyunjin did so reluctantly, pouting at Changbin who simply cooed. “There, there, pretty boy. Hmm.” He pet his hair again, Hyunjin’s cheeks dusting pink at his words.”You’ll be okay. I bet you’re hungry.” His tummy gave a ramble, already pink cheeks turning red from embarrassment. “Let’s get you some food.”

Downstairs, Hyunjin was met with three pairs of curious eyes. “We made breakfast.” Chan told them, pointing to the warmed frozen waffles on the table..Felix had an evil glint in his eye.

“Good morning, buttercup. Did you sleep well?” By the face he was making, Hyunjin was sure he knew where Hyunjin had been all night.

“He’s fine, woke up with a headache though. That’s to be expected.” Changbin answered for him. That had Felix even more stunned, brow raising.

“Ah, is that so?” Hyunjin pleaded with him to not make any more of a fuss and his best friend sighed. “Well, you should eat then. Recharge.” He winked and Hyunjin fell into another round of embarrassment. Whatever, Felix was stupid anyway.

Hyunjin went to grab a plate, but Changbin was smacking his hand away. “Don’t you dare lift a finger, you’re still not recovered.” He was saying it like he was sick, not hungover. “I’ll get it for you, don’t worry.” Hyunjin wanted to protest, but Changbin was already pushing him into a chair. “Sit, I’ll have your breakfast ready in no time.” Hyunjin sat uselessly, ignoring his smirking friend in favor of his brother. Chan was giving him a weird look too, turning his head to watch Changbin.

“You’re awfully nice today.” Minho commented, a sly smile overtaking his face. “Any reason as to why?”

“What? I can’t take care of my dongsaeng?”

“Oh please, you’re going to use that excuse- ow!” Minho had a pointed look directed at Chan. Chan gave him one back before he was smiling sweetly at Hyunjin.

“Ignore him. I think it’s nice that Changbin is sweet to you.” Hyunjin bit his lip, chancing his own peek at Changin. The boy was smiling as he came back to Hyunjin, setting a plate of waffles dressed in whipped cream and strawberries.

“Eat up.”

An hour later, Chan was clearing away the table. “When are your parents coming back” He questioned, having Minho help him with dish duty.

“They won’t be back until later tonight. You guys are welcome to stay, if you want.”

“Nah, I’ve got an assignment to finish before tomorrow.” Felix said, sneaking a glance at his phone. “I’m meeting Seungmin to finish it.”

“We can’t either. Chan promised to take me to the mall. Isn’t that right, darling?” He batted his lashes and Chan was putty, nodding dumbly. That left Hyunjin, all four boys waiting on his answer.

“I, uh- wouldn’t mind, staying that is.” Felix smirked, sending another wink his way. Changbin grinned.

When the dishes were done, everyone stood by the front door to say their appropriate goodbyes. Chan and Minho waved as they left, Minho’s other hand holding Chan’s. Felix gave Hyunjin a hug, whispering ‘have fun’ before he was walking away with mischief in his eyes. The door closed behind them and all that was left was Changbin and Hyunjin. “So…”

“Wanna play Mario Kart?” Changbin was all smiles, guiding Hyunjin back toward the stairs. They went back to Changbin’s room and in the daylight- along with being much more sober- Hyunjin noticed various things he hadn’t before. This was the first time he was in Changbin’s room, save last night, and it was kind of surreal. Like a lot of the things that had been happening lately.

There was a bookshelf, a desk, standard things for a teenage boy’s room- complete with the gaming console that Changbin was busy setting up. He had a few papers thrown haphazardly on the table, his backpack sitting on the chair. Hyunin spared a glance at the poorly written notes, laughing to himself. There was nothing  _ that _ special about it, he just liked seeing simple things like this. A more normal side to his idolized version of Changbin.

Not to say he thought Changbin was this godly figure, but being that he has an immense crush on said boy, a lot of things about Changbin are often romanticized by Hyunjin. Like the kinds of lines he’d use to win Hyunjin’s heart or the kinds of dates he imagined if ever they were to go on one. Still, there were times, like now. Changbin cursed as he messed with the various wires while Hyunjin thought,  _ yeah I like this side too _ . This stupid boy had his whole heart.


	7. passing confessions

Hyunjin was just a bit confused. Sunday had gone great, the boys enjoying mindless video games until it got dark. Changbin’s parents invited him to dinner, to which he agreed and it was overall a really nice night. It was even nicer when Changbin offered to drive him home, a repeat of the last time Hyunjin was in his car. Hyunjin had felt the impending sadness of leaving Changbin after having spent almost two full days with him, but he tried not to. Just when he was about to step out, Changbin caught his arm.

“I had fun.” It felt a lot like the end of a date. Hyunjin gave a shy smile. “You should sleepover more often.” He was teasing, Hyunjin had to remind himself.

“Oh n-no, I probably snore in my sleep.” Changbin was already shaking his head.

“Not at all, you were great. The best cuddle buddy." He punctuated it with a smirk and Hyunjin fell just a bit more in love.

"Whatever." Hyunjin rolled his eyes, shutting the door and beginning his way to his front door. He only stopped because Changbin started to shout out the window. 

"See you later, babe!" Hyunjin whipped his head around, catching as Changbin offered one last smirk before driving off. He felt his face overheating and he shut his eyes in an attempt to wake up from whatever fever dream he'd fallen into. Yet, when his eyes opened, he was still a few feet short of his front door and Changbin's car was turning onto the main road.

"That's gold!" Felix was a laughing mess as Hyunjin recounted his weekend. He pouted at his best friend, slapping his arm to which Felix hissed. "What'd you do that for?"

"You're not supposed to be laughing at my misery." 

"Please, what misery? This is like all your wildest dreams come true!" So what if it was? This just felt so different. Why were things changing so suddenly? "Look at it this way, it just may be that your one sided love is not so one sided."

"You think?" If Hyunjin was being honest with himself, he had maybe let himself wonder if these were some kind of signs that Changbin was actually interested. However, why now? What had changed?

"I don't know. I'm not exactly the best person to ask, now am I?" Hyunjin snorted.

"You still getting mixed signals from Seungmin?" Felix went on to tell him about his endeavors on Sunday ("He touched my hair! He wanted to see how soft it was! How am I supposed to live after that? Tell me!") Hyunjin had just nodded along, eyes wandering to the soccer field where the older boys were still practicing. Hyunjin spotted Changbin, the boy immersed in a deep conversation with Chan about some play. Next thing Hyunjin knew, Changbin was turning in their direction. He met Hyunjin's eye, the younger stilling. The corners of his mouth upturned, the hint of a smile. Hyunjin stared dumbly at him until the other boy winked. Hyunjin jerked his head away.

Practice ended soon enough, Chan coming up to the pair with a smile. "You guys up for ice cream? I'm taking Minho for some after this." The young boys nodded excitedly, packing up their stuff. They met Minho out front and gathered into Chan's car.

"Thank you for the ice cream." Hyunjin said as he took the offered cone. He grinned from ear to ear at the sweet taste.

"You don't have to thank me, thank Changbin. He paid." Changbin was glancing out the window when Hyunjin turned to look at him. He smiled at his profile, leaning over to whisper, "Thank you, hyung." The soft smile on Changbin's face is bright enough to melt the ice cream in his hands.

There's one other time Hyunjin can remember Changbin buying him ice cream and that was in the summer before Hyunjin started middle school. Hyunjin was sitting out on the porch of the Bang house, waiting for Felix to come outside. Changbin was just arriving, waving to the younger as he approached. "Hi, Hyunjin." Hyunjin had waved to him, noticing his hair had been freshly cut- an undercut. He was starting to look a lot older, said boy about to go into high school. His chubby cheeks had lost their squish, replaced by a sharp jawline that made Hyunjin just a little jealous. He still had his baby fat. “Waiting on Felix?” The younger nodded. “I’ll wait with you, since I’m waiting for Chan.” He fell into the spot beside him, thighs touching as they waited together.

The summer heat was unbearable, Hyunjin remembered, fanning his face as the sun glared down at them. “It’s pretty hot, huh?” Changbin mused, cupping his hand over his eyes as he stared up into the sky. Hyunjin nodded mindlessly, just wishing Felix would hurry up already. Changbin stood up. “I’ll be right back.”

After Changbin left, Felix appeared with his boyish smile, asking Hyunjin what he wanted to do that day. Hyunjin suggested the waterpark nearby, but Felix fussed about it being crowded. Hyunjin shrugged, out of ideas. “Let’s just set up the sprinkler outside, that would be tons more fun.” Hyunjin had readily agreed, any excuse to cool down on the hot summer day.

They went into the backyard and wrestled with the hose until they were able to connect it to the portable sprinkler. Both boys smiled at the first spray, Hyunjin in an uproar as the spray got bigger and wider, the water sloshing over them cold but so necessary. They ran around, blocking the water’s path to aim it at one another. Tired, Hyunjin laid in the grass as he waited for the spray to circle around. “Having fun?” Hyunjin sat up, seeing Changbin in the entryway of the house. He picked the wrong moment to do so, water hitting him square in the face. Changbin laughed. “Had I known you were going to cool down this way, I would have never bought this.” He held up a bag, Hyunjin’s curiosity peaked. He slid over to where the older stood, the muddy grass slippery under his feet. He peeked in and saw wrapped ice cream cones, big smile as he dug one out.

“These are my favorite!” He ripped open the packaging, the noise making Felix come over.

“Ice cream!” He dug the sole other ice cream, thanking Changbin with a grin. Changbin let him have it, watching Hyunjin with a soft expression.

“Good?” Hyunjin hummed. Chan appeared behind him, spotting the ice cream and giving them all a questioning look.

“Who bought ice cream?”

“Changbin!” The younger boys said in unison. Chan directed his attention to his best friend.

“I thought you spent the last of your allowance at the cafe yesterday?” Changbin shrugged, seemingly embarrassed about being called out.

“I found some change in my pocket.” Chan gave him an odd look, but otherwise let it go.

“Well, come on. Let’s go to my room.” Then both boys were gone. 

Hyunjin happily finished his ice cream with Felix, thanking the world for the existence of Changbin on that hot summer day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Changbin at the convenience store*
> 
> "Ms. Park, can you please spare me! I promise I'll pay you back!" He was only a few coins short to pay for the ice cream. Ms. Park was honestly endeared. Whoever this person was, they were special to Changbin. She waved him off.
> 
> "Don't worry about it. Whoever you're trying to impress, they're one lucky girl." She winked. Changbin didn't have it in him to correct her. He was still trying to figure it out himself.


	8. simple confessions

There was talk amongst the players of a weekend trip to Busan- some kind of bonding retreat. Chan was packing his bags when Hyunjin was over.

“Can’t we go too?” Felix was adamant of tagging along, but his brother kept shaking his head.

“I told you already, this is a  _ team _ trip. No tag alongs.”

“We are not tag-a-longs! You’re my brother! That’s gotta count for something.”

"Not this time." Felix kept pushing, taking things out of Chan's bag every time he said no. Chan got frustrated. "Felix, please!" He ripped the shirt of the younger's hand, pointing his finger to the door. "Go bother Changbin about it if it means so much to you." Felix frowned, pulling Hyunjin with him as he left.

"Are you really going to bother Changbin?" Felix looked like he wanted to. He got eerily pensive, eyes slowly turning mischievous. 

"Nah. We'll just take our own trip tomorrow." He looked.more determined than ever. "Pack up my friend, we're having a boys trip!"

Hyunjin went home that day with Felix's instructions to ask his parents if he was allowed to spend the weekend with the boy. His mother allowed him- when had she not?- and he was packing his bag with an odd feeling in his stomach. Felix was being too weird about this

The following morning, he was up bright and early, Chan packing up his car when Hyunjin arrived. Chan saw his bag, raising a brow in question. "Sleeping over?" Hyunjin shrugged, not sure how much he was supposed to say about Felix's plan. 

The passenger door was thrown open and Changbin stepped out, "Chan will you hurry up already! We're supposed to be the first one's there, not the last!" He hadn't noticed Hyunjin yet, but when he did he smiled wide. Hyunjin thought he also saw a pink tint to his cheeks, but that could be his still sleep hazed mind playing tricks on him. "Oh hey, Hyunjin. Fancy seeing you here." Hyunjin rolled his eyes. He should expect to see Hyunjin at the Bang house. He frequented just as much as Changbin did. 

He also noticed the bag in his hands. "Not trying to sneak along, are you?" Hyunjin bit his lip, shaking his head. "We wouldn't mind a cute stowaway."  _ Cute _ . He called him cute. Oh God.

"Oh now you don't care." Chan criticized. "But when I suggest we bring Minho-"

"Nope, don't want to hear it. You and I both know that it'll only lead to  _ bad _ , bad things.

"Maybe for you." Chan mumbled, closing the trunk and taking out his keys. "Alright, well we're off. Tell Felix to remember what I said!." He hopped in, the car pulling away in minutes. It was like Felix had been waiting for that moment, coming out with an excited grin.

"Are they gone?" Hyunjin nodded. Felix's grin only widened. "Great." He had his own backpack slung over his shoulders. "Let's go!" He grabbed Hyunjin's hand, dragging them down the sidewalk.

"Where exactly are we going?" Maybe he should have asked that last night, before packing a bag for a trip he had no explanation on. Felix said nothing, continuing their trek. Hyunjin would just have to find out.

That was bad thinking, on Hyunjin’s part. They’re walking off the landing of the train, Hyunjin hoping that Felix wasn’t doing what he thought he was. Yet, here they were, a sign announcing their arrival to Busan. Hyunjin should have stopped him. “What are we supposed to do now?” Had Felix thought this far ahead?

“Easy, we go find the others.” A devilish smirk appeared. “I snuck through Chan’s phone while he was sleeping last night.” A very Felix-like thing to do. Hyunjin should have known. “It’s not that far from here.” He was fiddling with his phone, most likely deciphering directions. “Turn right at the corner.” 

After one too many wrong turns for Hyunjin to be assured Felix knew where he was going (“Didn’t we already go this way?” “No, keep going straight.”) They were standing in front of a small house. “Are you sure this is right?” Hyunjin asked, skeptical of the very average house they were standing in front of..

“Well, according to the directions it is.” Felix tapped away some more, Hyunjin left to stare some more at the house. Suddenly, the door was burst open, rowdy boys piling out. Hyunjin spotted Changbin and he squeaked, immediately hiding behind Felix. “Huh-”

“I can’t believe you two!” It was Chan’s voice. They’d been caught. “Felix, what were you thinking?”

“How can you only blame me?” Chan’s unimpressed expression stayed. “Fine, it was my idea.  _ But _ you were being unfair.” Chan groaned.

“How many times do I have to tell you, this is a  _ team- _ ” Changbin came to aid the bickering siblings.

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” He told them, Hyunjin nervous about the look he’s giving them. “They can always run laps with us.” Felix shook his head wildly.

“On second thought, we could probably catch the last train out. Forget we were ever here.” Felix and Hyunjin try to waddle away, but Chan grabs both their shoulders.

“Oh no, you don’t.”

Changbin wasn’t actually that cruel. He did ask the boys to tidy up the house a bit while they were out. Hyunjin happily agreed, as long as he didn’t have to run. Running was not what he had planned today. Felix mumbled complaints, but really he had no room to talk. This was all his idea. When the boys returned, they brought fried chicken and everyone was rowdy from a long day's work. Hyunjin sat next to Felix, away from the team. He managed to steal glances, loving the playful Changbin sitting a feet away. “Your face will get stuck like that if you smile hard enough.” Hyunjin hit Felix’s shoulder in retaliation. “Just stating facts.”

“Shut up.” Changbin was giggling at some joke one of his teammates made, Hyunjin soft at the sound. God, he shouldn’t be this endeared. “You know, you’re lucky Changbin is nice. We might have been kicked to the curb otherwise.” 

“Or, Changbin just likes you that much.” Hyunjin glared at his best friend. “That's a valid reason.”

“No, because it isn’t true.”

“Says who?”

“Says me.” Felix shook his head, 

“You underestimate him.” Confused, Hyunjin wanted to ask more, but Chan was coming over.

“If you guys want to join us, we’re going to make a bonfire outside.” He gestured behind himself, the team all gone, presumably out back. Felix nodded excitedly, already running out. “And I haven’t even mentioned the s’mores.” Hyunjin laughed. Outside, Felix was already well aware of the s’mores, grabbing his own marshmallow. Hyujin was about to do the same, but a s’more was being pushed in front of his face.

“Say, ‘ah.’” Surprised, he did as was told, cheeks puffed up because of the sweet. Changbin was in his line of vision then, fondly wiping away at some of the chocolate sauce that had slipped out. “Messy.” He commented. Hyunjin could only stare. Chan’s cough was what eventually snapped him out of his trance.

“I’m gonna…” Hyunjin sidestepped the older, incredibly shy. What had possessed Changbin to do such a thing? He could only blame it on the brotherly feelings that these types of events bring. That was the only explanation. Or at least the one that made the most sense in his head. He stood by Felix, mimicking his movements until they were both roasting marshmallows on the open flame.

“Changbin sure has been different lately. Don’t you think?” Felix must have seen them.

“No, he seems the same to me.” Felix sighed, acting like Hyunjin was being naive to the situation. But Hyunjin really had no idea what he was referring to. “What?”

“Are you that dense?” His eyes were trying to send signals, moving from him to Changbin at a rapid pace. Like he was supposed to get it. Hyunjin’s troubled mind made no sense of it. Felix defeated, blew at his burning marshmallow. “Forget it. I shouldn’t have to explain the obvious.”

“Felix.” Hyunjin pouted at him, but Felix didn't relent. With a huff, Hyunjin went back to toasting his own marshmallow.


	9. night time confessions

The night sky was very pretty in Busan, Hyunjin thought as he glanced up. The stars felt brighter, the moon lighting up the night sky like a beacon. It almost felt enchanting, especially when Hyunjin spied Changbin across the way. He was telling some story, animated hands moving fast through the punchline. Hyunjin thought he looked ethereal, basked in the faint white glow of the moon, hair falling into his eyes. His chest tightened, pitter patter stronger than ever as he watched the beauty that was Seo Changbin. 

Chan was the one who eventually called time, it getting pretty late. He told everyone they would need to be ready bright and early for the next day. The team was nodding, Changbin guiding everyone back inside. It was then, that Hyunjin realized he had no idea how sleeping arrangements were going to go.

“Hey, Felix?” They made up the end, a quiet whisper carrying easily to his best friend. “Where exactly are we sleeping tonight?” So maybe his best friend wasn’t as smart as he led on, judging by the perplexed face he was sporting. 

“I knew I forgot something.” Hyunjin loved his best friend, really he did. But sometimes… “We’ll have to ask Chan-”

“Ask me what?” They were already inside, everyone else seemingly disappearing. Hyunjin had no idea where Changbin went.

“Where we’ll be sleeping tonight?” His voice was extra sugary, the way it got when he didn’t want Chan to be mad. Chan could only sigh. He understood Hyunjin’s love hate relationship with him. 

“There aren't enough rooms for everyone, so we’re making camp in the living room.” Changbin said in passing, walking through with a plethora of blankets. Chan titled his head, showing them the hallway and why hadn’t Hyunjin seen it before? There was a light at the end that they followed, soon met with the soccer team in various states of movement. Most were clearing away furniture, while others were rolling out sleeping bags. Changbin was offering blankets, dropping them until he had nothing left in his arms. Unprepared for this situation, Felix and Hyunjin lingered in the hall, waiting for some instruction they weren’t even sure was coming. Changbin noticed their predicament. “You two idiots, come here.” Like dogs with their tails between their legs, they walked to Changbin, the boy pointing to two different sleeping bags. “One of you can share with Chan, the other with me.” 

“I call dibs on Chan.” Felix burst out. That only left…

“Guess you’ll be with me then.” Changbin gestured dramatically to his already laid out sleeping bag. “After you.” Trying not to think too hard about all the possibilities, Hyunjin stuttered out that he still needed to actually get ready for bed. “Oh, of course. Take your time. I’ll be waiting. “ A wink. Hyunjin does not swoon. Nope.

He changed quickly, but he brushed his teeth at a snail’s pace. He knew the moment he went back out there, the inevitable sharing a bed with Changbin episode would start. _ It wouldn’t be the first time, _ his subconscious reminded. He spit out the toothpaste. 

Most of the boys were already settled in for the night, Hyunjin tiptoeing over bodies to get back to Changbin. He lost his footing just before he could make it, bracing himself for impact, but not having it come. He blinked open his eyes, seeing a disgruntled Changbin underneath him. “Oh my God, I’m sorry.” Changbin waved his hand dismissively as Hyujin rolled away. 

“I’m pretty sure dancers aren’t supposed to be clumsy.” Changbin joked, but Hyunjin still felt bad. He saw the pout on Hyunjin’s face and cooed, squishing his face with one hand. “Aw, is the baby sad?” Refusing to be called a baby, Hyunjin jerked away. Changbin faltered, petting his hair instead. “Alright, I’m sorry.” He gave one more pat, going off to do his own night time routine. It gave Hyunjin room to breathe. He took in a few deep breaths, ignoring Felix’s snort in favor of calming his racing heart.  _ He just needed to sleep _ , he reminded himself. It would all be over soon enough.

He slipped under the blanket Changbin had haphazardly thrown over the sleeping bag. He began counting sheep, every intention of falling asleep as quickly as possible. 

However, Hyunjin wasn’t always the heaviest sleeper, so he felt when Changbin had made his way back. The boy dropped his bag near them, cursing at the thud.  _ Stupid _ . Hyunjin would have giggled if he wasn’t trying so hard to act like he was asleep. Changbin rustled around for another moment, sinking down with a softer thud than his bag. It was a few long quiet moments, where all Hyunjin could think about was why Changbin wasn’t already under the covers. He then heard Changbin drop one last thing to the floor, probably his phone, before he was pulling the cover. The small gust of wind was replaced with a warm body, one Hyunjin desperately wanted to cuddle up with. He thought better of it, staying as still as possible. He really needed to go back to sleep. 

Changbin settled further into the cover, adjusting his body until he was pressed right next to Hyunjin. Hyunjin held his breath, Changbin’s arm tentatively wrapping around his torso. Hyunjin felt the familiar warmth of being in his arms and he sighed, instinctively turning toward him. Changbin gasped and the younger worried Changbin didn’t mean to touch him at all. “Cute.” He heard Changbin whisper, then he was nuzzling impossibly closer, Hyunjin wrapped up in his scent. Hyunjin would have freaked out, if he wasn’t so damn tired. He felt his consciousness slipping, falling asleep in a matter of seconds.

Changbin wasn’t next to him in the morning, but neither was the team. True to Chan’s word, they had left early in the morning, at least according to Felix. He’d been awake when they’d all filed out. He was in the process of making breakfast, Chan telling him to do that much as they were intruding. Hyunjin helped him, turning over pancakes while Felix worried over the eggs. “You looked cozy last night.” Felix suddenly said. Hyunjin dropped the pancake he’d just finished. He frowned. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

“No.” Hyunjin poured the last of the batter, dumping the dirtied bowl in the sink. When he turned around, Felix was looking at him incredulously.

“Really?” Felix turned off the stove, coming over to crowd Hyunjin. “There’s really nothing?”

“What am I supposed to tell you, then?” Felix was staring him down, Hyunjin trying everything to avoid his gaze. Felix had enough teasing, back up with an exhale.

“Guess I’m wrong then.”

“Wrong about what?” The door burst open, teenage boys crowding into the kitchen space at the smell of food. Hyunjin couldn’t be mad, not when Changbin was strutting in only a sleeveless tank and shorts. His face was sweaty, as were the other boys, and he was smiling like an idiot. He supposed a good run could do that to people.

“What’s on the menu?” Changbin asked, hooking his chin over Hyunjin’s shoulder. It was a little awkward, what with Hyunjin being taller, but it felt nice nonetheless. Especially when his hand tickled Hyunjin’s side, the younger giggling. Changbin smiled wide as Hyunjin turned in his grasp. They were facing each other, Hyunjin wanting to close the space between them. For a second. Just one quick touch between their lips. 

“Pancakes.” Hyunjin mumbled, but he’s not even sure if he spoke, too far gone in Changbin’s eyes. He wasn’t sure, but he thought the space had grown smaller and he held his breath, wondering what came next. Chan’s hand wasn’t what he had in mind.

“Breakfast is waiting!” He emphasized, pulling Changbin away and dropping him into a seat. Hyunjin stood dumbly, unable to move until Felix was putting a plate into his hands.

“Eat up, buttercup.”

Felix insisted that they got out of the house, dragging Hyunjin into the local plaza to shop. Hyunjin giggled as they stepped in and out of stores, his best friend so amusing. He made funny faces and insisted the weirdest clothes were the most fashionable. They made it into a vintage shop, Hyunjin falling in love with almost everything in the store. He gawked at the pretty things, trying very hard to pick just one thing or else his wallet would cry. “How about this?” He turned from the mirror, showing Felix his most recent option, to which the other only wrinkled his nose.

“Not really you. I like that yellow shirt.” He rummaged through the pile Hyunjin had left on the seat beside him, digging out the oversized yellow button down. “This one, just buy this one.” He knew Felix was tired of waiting on him to make up his mind, but he just wasn’t satisfied. He huffed, leaving to change into another option. Felix groaned.

Hyunjin came out in a white shirt, black sloppy writing contrasting with the only red intelligible word on it. Hyunjin actually liked it a lot. He smiled at his reflection. “I changed my mind, buy that one.” Glad that his best friend approved he went with the white shirt. He liked it so much, he wore it out of the store. 

“Sorry for killing the mood back there.”

“Buy me something sweet if you want to make it up to me.” Hyujin could only roll his eyes fondly. They go to the convenience store that’s on the corner, Felix instantly in the candy aisle. Hyunjin followed after him, ready to tell him not to overdo it when he saw Changbin. He stopped short, not sure what to do. He hadn’t noticed him and he was very concentrated on whatever he was trying to buy. Hyunjin went an aisle back, trying to see what it was he was buying, but the shelves were just a tad too high to peek over without getting on his tiptoes. Indignantly, he did so, feeling like a kid as he tried his very hardest to see what Changbin was up to. “What are you doing?” Hyunjin was quick to slap a hand over Felix’s mouth, ducking down with him at the fear of being seen. Felix was more confused, trying to shift out of his grasp, but Hyunjin kept shaking his head.

“Quiet.” He hissed, trying to hear if Changbin had moved at all. He heard footsteps, sure Changbin was going to come into their aisle. 

“Changbin? Are you still here?” Chan’s voice filtered through and Changbin walked toward the voice, away from the dawdling idiots on the floor. Hyunjin couldn’t make out the rest of the conversation, but he heard the keys of the cash register, a thank you and then silence. A few bated breaths later, he was dropping his hand, covering his face instead. “That was close.”

“And why exactly were we hiding?” Sheepishly, Hyunjin smiled.

“Because I was being weird?”

“Nothing new, should have just walked up to him.” Felix stood up, basket filled to the brim with candies. “Just for that, you’re also buying me snacks.” Hyunjin couldn’t argue. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think i may only have a few more chapter left before this reaches it's end.


	10. new confessions

Just like that, the weekend trip had come to an end. Sunday morning was filled with disgruntled teammates who all but wished that the time would slow down. Changbin assured everybody that they still had a few hours, they should enjoy it while it lasted. That apparently called for a last minute trip to the beach.

Most boys were still fully clothed, as there wasn’t enough time for that kind of fun in the sun, but it was still nice, the breeze hitting Hyunjin gently. He was at least in board shorts, shoes thrown off to dig his toes in the sand. Felix was busy clowning Chan in the distance, failed attempts at throwing his brother into the ocean. If anything, Felix was more drenched in sea water than his brother. “Did you have fun?” Changbin sat beside him, slinging an arm over his shoulder. Hyunjin didn’t have it in him to be embarrassed, going as far as placing his head on Changbin’s shoulder.

“I did.” He was being sincere. Even if maybe there was more he wished could have done (like maybe gotten around to confessing or something), he was happy his best friend was stupid and dragged him all the way to Busan without so much as a plan. “Sorry, again. For just dropping in like that.” Changbin chuckled, shaking his head.

“It’s fine, cool even. You guys have some guts.” 

“No, Felix has guts. I was just along for the ride.”

“I’m glad you were.” There was something more to his words, something that had Hyunjin hoping. He glanced up at Changbin, the older already looking at him. It felt like that moment again, in the kitchen. When all Hyunjin wanted to do was kiss him. Maybe Changbin wanted to kiss him too. He was so close, closer than before. “I have something for you.” Changbin broke the contact, fishing around his pocket for something. Apparently, a gift for Hyunjin. He stretched his closed fist to the younger, urging him to offer his hand. Hyunjin tentatively did, a small weight ever so present. “It’s kind of stupid, but I thought you’d like it.” Hyunjin unravelled the thing, a tacky keychain in his hands. 

Changbin was right, it is silly, but it’s also sweet and Hyunjin might just cry over a commemorative keychain. “Something to remember this trip.” Hyunjin could think of a million other reasons to remember this trip alone. But he loved Changbin, and he loved the gift and he was just so painfully in love he could die- right now in Changbin’s arms.

The sun was starting to set in the distance, Changbin pulling Hyunjin up as he called for the others It was truly the end and yet, it felt like a new beginning.

The drive home was quiet, Felix asleep in the seat beside him. Hyunjin had too many thoughts running amuck, sleep the last thing on his mind. Why had it felt so different? Were things really changing?

Chan dropped Hyunjin off with a promise to see him on Monday. Changbin waved him off, smiling softly as Hyunjin made it up his front steps. It wasn’t like when Changbin dropped him off, but Hyunjin still had butterflies. Things were sure to be different Monday.

He wasn’t wrong. In fact, Felix even noticed it, plopping down with questions written all over his face. “Okay, this time  _ there has to be _ something you’re not telling me.” Hyunjin shrugged. “Oh come on! You’re holding out on me.” Hyunjin laughed.

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe Changbin does like me.”

“Did he confess?” Felix looked so surprised, but it left quickly when Hyunjin shook his head. “So then?”

“It just feels different. He’s been different. A-and I want to think it’s because he likes me too.” Felix patted him on the back.

“I’ve been trying to tell you all along.”

Soccer practice ran a little later than usual, but Hyunjin remained poised as ever, writing down illegible notes as he snuck glances at Changbin. The older was very much into the game, driven to score a goal. When he did, he shouted, “Yes!” Hyunjin copied him, the older grinning. Felix was done with them.

“I swear to God if you act anymore cringier when you guys are together.” An elbow to his ribs effectively shut him up. “Insufferable.” Changbin made his way over to the two.

“Sorry for keeping you guys hostage. How about I treat you? We can get whatever you guys want.” That led to an outright battle between Felix and Changbin about what they should eat and it only ended when Chan intervened, hauling Changbin to the locker rooms.

“He should have worded it better.” Felix relented, typing away at his phone as they got close to Chan’s car. One minute he was still complaining and the next he was standing stock still.

“Felix?” 

Felix yelled, startling the birds nearby- as well as Hyunjin- with his screech. “Oh my God! Oh my God!!” He ran up to Hyunjin, shaking his shoulders in what Hyunjin hoped was excitement. “Guess what Seungmin just asked. Guess!” 

“He asked for your hand in marriage?” Felix didn't think that was as funny as Hyunjin did.

“Seriously, why are we best friends?”

“Because you love me?” Felix smacked his chest.

“Whatever.” He showcased his phone to Hyunjin who read over the texted words in amazement. “It’s unbelievable, right?!” Seungmin had asked him out. And he didn’t call it a hang out. He called it a date. “He wants to go right after his club activities end.” Hyunjin, who had been stunned to silence, registered his words.

“But- we’re supposed to get food with your brother and Changbin.”

“So?”

“So! It can’t just be me and your brother and Changbin, that ruins the dynamic.” Desperation called for his panic, suddenly really aware that his one lifeline was going to abandon him. Felix pat his hair.

“Calm down, you’ll be fine. Chan was going to take Minho anyway.” Great, another reason to fear for his life.

“You say that like he’s going to be of any use to me.” Felix smirked.

“He could be.” Hyunjin glared.

“I don’t like your tone.”

“It’ll be great, a double date!” Hyunjin sputtered, ready to smack some sense into his best friend, but the older boys chose that moment to appear.

“You guys ready to go?” Chan already had his keys out, dangling them in invitation.

“Hyunjin is! I’m gonna wait for Seungmin, see you guys later!” Hyunjin pleaded, he really did, but Felix escaped from his grasp before he could convince him otherwise. He was left to stare back at the older boys. A part of him thought Chan would just disregard him, tell him they could go another day, when Felix was there. Because Felix was always there, but Chan just unlocked the car.

“Are you coming?” Hyunjin had no other choice. He sat in the back seat, perplexed by the turn of events. But even more so with the fact that they were all still grabbing food. It felt wrong somehow.

They pull up to a barbeque place, Minho waiting for them by the entrance. He doesn’t seem all that shocked with Hyunjin as the sort of tag along, just waved and clung to Chan as soon as he could reach him. Hyunjin was left with Changbin. “I know you like meat.” Changbin said, like it explained why they were there. He forgot this was about what he wanted. He nodded, taking the seat next to Changbin once they were at the table. Minho was staring them down. Something was on the tip of his tongue, Hyunjin was sure. Instead of voicing it outloud, he whispered in Chan’s ear and the other shook his head. It made the youngest curious. “Order whatever. My treat, remember?” Changbin reminded.

“Oh, you’re buying? Let’s see, bulgogi sounds amazing right now…” Changbin faked a punch, but Minho laughed it off. “Fine, fine. What does Hyunjin want?” At the mention of his name, Hyunjin picked up a menu. He felt shy. He’d been around Chan and Changbin his whole life, yet this atmosphere felt different. The thought that this could really be a double date crossed his mind. He gulped.

“Don’t worry about him.” Changbin told Minho, already writing down their order. Hyunjin hadn’t said a word so far, anxiety still gnawing at him. “I already got it.” He waved down the waitress. She took the paper with a gentle smile and everyone was left staring at Changbin. “What?”

“Nothing.” Chan was quick to say, giving the same pointed look to Minho as he did when they had slept over at Changbin’s. “I got you babe. Let’s order.” 

The dinner was nice, as far as Hyunjin was concerned. He hadn’t said much, but it was still nice. It still felt odd, the crippling anxiety of this being some kind of date never leaving. Mostly because of how nice Changbin had been during their time together. He always cooked Hyunjin’s share first, piling the meat into a lettuce leaf before feeding it to the younger. He swore he saw Minho coo, even go as far as to asking Chan why he wasn’t doing the same, but Hyunjin just felt small under their attention. He felt babied and it wasn’t as bad as it had been in the past. This was a more welcoming feeling. A feeling of being taken care of. “Good?” Changbin would ask, and even though he was referring to the food, there were many aspects Hyunjin thought were good about the whole thing. So he nodded.

Come the bill, Changbin paid as he promised, not minding the money Hyunjin tried to hand over. “Hyung, it’s expensive.” Hyunjin tried to argue, but Changbin pushed his hand down.

“I said I would treat. Don’t worry about it.” Hyunjin still felt bad and on the drive home all he could think about was some way to make it up to the older. No ideas came to mind.

He wasn’t sitting alone in the backseat, Minho having caught a ride home with them and thus taking the passenger seat. Changbin sat next to Hyunjin, staring out the window in an almost picture like state. Hyunjin almost felt like he was in the twilight zone, a lot of things different today. He knew they would be though, he'd called it beforehand. So why was he still so nervous?

“Hyung?” Changbin turned at the whisper, nodding to show Hyunjin had his attention. “Thank you for today.” Bashful as ever, Hyunjin avoided eye contact. Changbin chuckled.

“Anything for my favorite dongsaeng.” He ruffled Hyunjin’s hair. Hyunjin bit his lip. He wasn’t sure what the action meant, but he couldn’t say he hated it. He leaned back into his seat, still thinking of some way to thank Changbin. 

Before he knew it, they were stopped at his house, Changbin tapping his shoulder to let him know. He bid his goodbyes, clambering out with almost dread at having failed to think of something. Anything.


	11. acknowledged confessions

Birthdays were pretty big in the Bang household. They often threw huge parties for their sons, Hyunjin invited to every one as Felix’s best friend. Changbin was almost always on the guest list too, as Chan’s best friend. This year would be no different.

“This is going to be the best birthday to date!” Felix cheered, scanning through the food options his mom had handed him that morning. Hyunjin was ultimately asked to help too, as a fellow guest. “I want burgers!” Felix was always excited for his birthday, but this one was more special.  _ This year I have a boyfriend. _

Yes, Felix had gotten himself a boyfriend. Apparently, after their first date, he and Seungmin made it official. Felix was ecstatic, calling Hyunjin at midnight to tell him the news. Hyunjin had been happy for him- of course. But it settled with him that now only he was left to settle things with Changbin.

Nothing had progressed much since their  _ almost _ double date. Hyunjin had been dejected. He might have expected a little more from Changbin, maybe another invitation out. Just the two of them. But it never came and Hyunjin was more than confused. Feelings were so confusing.

“Do you think a chocolate cake would be okay?” Felix interrupted his thoughts, showing him pictures of cake. “Seungmin likes carrot cake, though.”

“Please, no carrot cake.” Hyunjin whined, pushing the papers that were thrown in his face.

“Fine, gotta please the masses.” Hyunjin stared at Felix, wondering how his mess of a best friend had more balls than he did when it came to love. “Take a picture- oh wait you see me every day.” Hyunjin swat at his best friend.

“I was thinking.”

“About Changbin?” His best friend knew him too well.

“Sort of.” He had a hard time talking about what happened the other day. All Felix knew was that he went to eat with Chan and Changbin. He didn’t know the small details, the fact that Changbin had been so nice to him. Could it mean something? Hyunjin wanted it to mean something. “Let’s just decide what snacks to buy.” Ignoring it was the easiest thing to do.

Their party planning extended until early evening, Hyunjin rubbing at his tired eyes while Felix had already crashed in his bed. Hyunjin could easily sleep over, but he had some homework he still had to finish, plus he wouldn’t have anything to wear other than too small for him clothes and he really just wanted his own bed. He grabbed his bag before sticking a post it note on Felix’s head.  _ Bye loser _ , he’d written. He snickered. He grabbed his bag before tiptoeing down the stairs.

“You’re still here?” Hyunjin jumped out of his skin at the voice. He turned to see Changbin sitting on the couch. Why was he there so late?

“Yeah, party planning.” Changbin glanced at the clock.

“It ran late, it’s already eleven.” Hyunjin knew that. He also knew that meant he would be walking home alone in the middle of the night. “Do you want a ride?” Changbin’s offer caught him off guard.

“I- oh.”

“I was about to leave anyway.” He stood up to prove his point. “Let’s go.” With no room to argue, he followed Changbin to his car. Outside, the world was quiet. The drive was even quieter, faint music playing on the radio, indecipherable to Hyunjin’s ears. Time almost seemed still, despite the moving background as Changbin drove him home. Hyunjin wished time did stop, that he could be in this moment forever. “Felix is going all out, huh?” Changbin’s words startled him. He nodded slowly, facing the older boy. “I heard he wanted Chan to DJ.” Felix had been pleading with his older brother to play the music at his party.  _ Because Hyung has the best taste! _ Hyunjin knew it was just his way of getting  _ good _ music played at the party.

“Yeah, he’s been doing his best aegyo to butter him up, but let’s be real, Chan’s going to cave no matter what.”

"Chan's always had a soft spot for him."

"Who doesn't have a soft spot for Felix?" Changbin hummed, tapping his fingers on the wheel.

"Maybe… me." Hyunjin faked surprise.

"Please! You were the one who dumped all your Halloween candy at Felix's feet the year he was too sick to go trick-or-treating."

"That wasn't just for him."

"Huh?"

"If I remember correctly, there were two "sick" boys that day." Hyunjin bit his lip at the memory. Ten year old Felix had caught the flu, and best friend Hyunjin had felt bad so he claimed he was sick too, just so Felix wouldn't try to tell him to go trick-or-treating by himself. The fact that Changbin had offered them his loot of the night made both boys happier than any Halloween ever before, Hyunjin for totally different reasons.

"Oh, yeah." That familiar feeling of butterflies settled in his stomach. It was always this push and pull that Hyunjin could never figure out. Like Changbin was  _ almost _ confessing, but maybe Hyunjin just read too much into it. 

They pulled up to Hyunjin's house, Changbin turning the car off for whatever reason. Hyunjin had a harder time stepping out, expecting something. Anything. "Hyunjin?" Hyunjin met Changbin's gaze, the older looking hesitant. Was this it? Was this the moment Hyunjin so desperately wanted? "I-" Ringing cut him off. It was Hyunjin's phone.

After hanging up, Hyunjin looked sullenly at Changbin. Perhaps he should have called his mother before he'd left the Bang house. "I won't keep you." Changbin started the car, whatever moment they were going to have ruined.

When he went to bed that night, thoughts of what Changbin lingered, about what he was going to say. Was it important? Had it been, wouldn't Changbin still have told him, despite the ill timed call. It just doesn't sit well with Hyunjin and his never ending questions, begging to be answered but with no way of doing so.

Hyunjin felt the days drag on as Felix's party neared. There were no more instances where it was just him and Changbin. Felix had come back to them, bringing a shy Seungmin along. The three often sat together to wait for the older boys, Hyunjin not really minding the addition. Seungmin was great to take to and he often aided with him against Felix which was all the fun. It was the distraction he so desperately needed from his feelings.

September 12th came soon enough. Hyunjin sending his friend a spam of messages to wish him a happy birthday. Felix replied with a bunch of emojis, telling him he couldn't wait for Saturday, the day of his party. That too came quickly, Hyunjin greeted by Mrs. Bang at the door. “Come in, come in, everyone’s outside.” Their backyard had been made into a picnic area, multitudes of kids and parents occupying the available space. He spotted Felix among them, wrapped around Seungmin with a big smile.

“Happy birthday!” He called out, garnering both boys attention. Felix tackled him into a hug, followed by Seungmin.

“Nice of you to  _ finally  _ make it!” Felix tried to sound annoyed, but he failed, pouting. “Why were you so late?” Hyunjin revealed the box behind him.

“I was busy wrapping this.” Felix took the gift with excitement, fluttering away with Seungmin to drop off somewhere. Hyunjin used that moment to poke around, wondering if Changbin had already arrived. He didn’t have to look long, spotting him beside Chan in the corner. Felix’s aegyo must have paid off. Chan was mixing tracks on his turntable. Changbin must be keeping him company. Hyunjin hesitated to go over to them, suddenly awkward with the thought of just the three of them. He felt hands push at him, turning to catch a glimpse of light brown hair.

“You know you want to go over there.” Minho sing-songed, pushing at the younger until they were both standing beside the turntable. “Caught Hyunjin here staring.” Hyunjin’s cheeks flared. He avoided their eyes, biting his lip at the awkward pause. Minho left Hyunjin standing alone as he fell into Chan’s lap. “Babe, play my favorite song next!” Chan appeased him, nodding as he queued it up. Hyunjin finally glanced up, finding Changbin already staring at him. He ducked his head again.

“Having fun?” Changbin asked, bumping their shoulders as he came around the table. “I know Felix is. I haven’t seen him smile like that before.” They both watched Felix laugh with Seungmin, eyes sparkling as he held onto the other’s shoulders. Hyunjin liked seeing his friend happy and in love. He wanted that too. 

“Yeah, he’s smitten.” Hyunjin mumbled, wanting Changbin to look at him the way Seungmin looked at Felix.


	12. rushed confessions

The party was still going hard by the time the sun set, most of Felix’s friends on the dance floor. Hyunjin had declined their invitation, sitting on a bench away from the celebration. It was unlike him to be away, to not be with Felix on his special day, but Felix had Seungmin right now. He didn’t need Hyunjin. A sad feeling washed over him, the thought of things changing looming over him. Things were already different, not in a bad way, but sometimes Hyunjin still wondered… if the day would come where it would all change too fast.

“Why the long face?” Changbin drawled as he sat beside him, offering him a soda can. Hyunjin took it, smiling minimally.

“Just… thinking…”

“About?” Hyunjin wasn’t sure what to say. How do you tell your crush that you’re feeling  _ maybe _ sort of jealous of your friend- on his birthday nonetheless- because you can’t have what he has. He shook his head, trying to tell Changbin he didn’t want to talk about. Changbin shrugged, leaning in closer. “They say you shouldn’t keep things to yourself, it’s bad for your health or something.” Hyunjin snorted.

“Such wonderful advice from someone who could barely pass health class.”

“I’ll have you know I was the only one who did twenty push-ups!”

“That’s because everyone else did thirty!” Hyunjin began to laugh, Changbin doing the same while leaning more into Hyunjin. When they quieted, Hyunjin became aware of how close they were, his breath catching at the fan of Changbin’s lashes.

“You’re really pretty.” Hyunjin gasped, slapping a hand over his mouth, only to realize he wasn’t the one who said it.

“Wait, what?” Changbin chuckled, leaning away. Hyunjin missed his warmth.

“I’m sorry, Minho must have spiked the punch he gave me.” Changbin’s cheeks were a shade of pink Hyunjin had never seen before and he sort of liked the look of it. Even if he wasn’t the cause. “I should get back.” Changbin was standing up, ready to walk away, but Hyunjin couldn’t let him leave. Not after…. That.

“You think I’m pretty?” He whispered, hand hooked around Changbin’s wrist. The older laughed awkwardly.

“Well, yeah. You’re gorgeous. Everyone thinks so.” He was still sporting those pink cheeks, looking everywhere but Hyunjin.

“Everyone?” Repeating what Changbin was saying frustrated the older and he sat back down.

“Yes, everyone. You can’t tell me people haven’t told you that before.” Hyunjin could admit that he had his fair share of confessions, but there was only one person he’d care about that should be thinking those things. And he was sitting right next to him. “I mean, look at you. Those dark eyes, sharp nose, pouty lips…” He trailed off, eyes going to said pouty lips and Hyunjin felt small under his gaze. “Why I could just…” It happened so fast. One minutes Changbin was staring, the next he was in Hyunjin’s lap, kissing the younger messily on the bench. Hyunjin had no way to react, having never kissed anyone. His hands just sort of fell onto the older’s hips, keeping Changbin steady as pressed kiss after kiss on the younger’s lips. Changbin’s hands were in his hair, angling his head to try and press in deeper, the younger entirely overwhelmed by the sensation. A light sound made it past his lips and Changbin froze, stunned.

“I’m sorry!” He scrambled away, panting and looking rather crazed. “I shouldn’t have- that wasn’t-” He bowed, repeating apologies. “I have to- I should go.” He ran off, Hyunjin left in a stupor.

“Wasn’t tonight great?” Felix asked Hyunjin later that night. The party had long ended, both boys foregoing the cleaning for the night. It could wait until morning. Hyunjin had hummed, still left speechless from earlier events. He touched his lips, faintly feeling the tingles Changbin had sent up his spine through their kiss. It was his first kiss. Changbin had actually been his first kiss. 

The memory of Changbin running away replayed and Hyunjin covered his face with the comforter. Why had he run away? Was it that bad? Given that Hyunjin had never done that before, he could only assume it was because he was a terrible kisser. But Changbin had said other things, had said he  _ “shouldn’t” _ have. Why not, thought Hyunjin stubbornly. It’s not like there was something stopping him. Hyunjin very much wanted it. He huffed, turning and feeling angry suddenly by the turn of events. 

Was he not enough for Changbin? Was he disappointed? Tears pricked at his eyes and he hated being a hormonal teenager. There was no reason to be crying- it had to be the hormones. Eventually, he knocked out, waking only after having a pillow thrown at him. “Wake up! The backyard isn’t going to clean itsefl!.” Felix shouted from the open doorway, already making his way downstairs. Hyunjin groaned, sitting up. Then, he was jumping up because Changbin was probably downstairs. He needed to at  _ least _ look decent. He ruffled his hair and brushed his teeth and then he was climbing down with a grace he was sure would look nonchalant. Except, there was no Changbin.

He only found Chan setting his plate in the sink and Felix rustling a bag outside. Chan noticed him first. “Good morning, sleep well?”

“Uh, yeah.” He seemed to notice Hyunjin’s eyes moving around.

“Changbin went home last night. Was weird, he kept mumbling about something before just up and leaving.” Come think of it, Hyunjin hadn’t seen Changbin at all after the kiss. He blamed that on the fact that he himself avoided the rest of the party all night. He stayed at that bench until Felix was telling him it was time for bed.

“Oh.” Chan clapped him on the back.

“He said he would come by to help clean, though. He should be here soon.” Chan smiled and he walked off, the interaction a bit random now that Hyunjin thought about it. Why had Chan told him all that?

He went outside to help Felix, getting lost in the mechanics of it until Chan was yelling about lunch. Both boys wandered in, a vacant seat still next to Chan. “He said he’d be here” He reminded Hyunjin which only served to further confuse him. The more the day dragged on, the less hope Hyunjin had. He must be the reason Changbin hasn’t come by. He must not want to see him. Night time fell upon them, no sign of Changbin ever coming. “Do you need a ride home?” Chan was nice enough to ask.

Chan dropped him off. Things were almost normal. Except they weren’t. Changbin had kissed Hyunjin and for some God forsaken reason he was avoiding him.

School the following day was weird, Changbin was still missing and Chan had told the younger boys that he wasn’t going to be with them for a few days. Nothing else. Hyunjin wanted to pout, but he figured he could just see the older at soccer practice. He was wrong .”Changbin is currently busy with exams, so I’ll be honorary captain.” Chan announced to the team. And Hyunjin couldn’t have been more disappointed.

“Is Changbin really studying?” Seungmin asked Felix. Felix hissed at him, clearly not wanting Hyunjin to hear them. But he did and he wished he could leave. However, Chan was still his ride, so he settled with futile attempts at doing math homework.

The week went about the same, Changbin missing and Hyunjin pouting. It got tiring fast and exasperated, Hyunjin went to the only person he thought would have actual answers. “This is a surprise.” Minho is leaned up against his locker, bag hanging half off his shoulder. “When you asked me to meet you here, I thought you were kidding.”

“Then why show up?”

“Good point.” He pushed off the lockers, crossing his arms instead. “What was it you wanted to ask me?” It was now or never.

“Do you know what’s wrong with Changbin?” Minho was his last resort. If he didn’t get answers out of him, this was going to be a mystery forever. Minho, as it was, could only sigh. “Please, you have to know something!” Minho looked torn between saying something and keeping quiet, biting his lip heavily.

“There’s things that are better left unknown-”

“I’m tired of not knowing!” Hyunjin yelled, far past angry. He was hurt, more than anything and he felt himself crumbling. “I just want to know the truth, is that so hard to ask?” Minho at least looks concerned, coming closer to the younger to place a hand on his shoulder.

“I wish I could tell you.” God dammit. “But this is Changbin’s secret. You should ask him yourself.” He left after that. Hyunjin cried silent tears in the hallway, afraid of what came next. He knew he should ask Changbin, but how was he supposed to do that when he had no idea where he was?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are finally progressing ohmygod why did it take so long? lol


	13. true confessions

Changbin's house loomed over Hyunjjn, the boy gulping as nerves pricked his ears. He was really here. Standing in front of the door. He just needed to know. Just one knock. He could do this.

He could not do this. He wasn't even sure if Changbin was home. He'd gone here after his talk with Minho, helpless and just wanting to see the older. It hurt to be ignored. Still, he had no way of knowing if he'd be lucky enough to _see_ him. Changbin could be out doing who knows what. Hyunjin gasped, maybe had someone else! That had to be it! Maybe the whole kissing mishap and the reason for his avoidance was the guilt. Could Changbin really be dating someone though? Thoughts continued to flood him until he could only groan, stuck on what to do now. Should he leave?

"Hyunjin?" Too late. Apparently, Changbin hadn't been home. He came up behind him, confused by his appearance. "What are you doing here?" Hyunjin took notice of the textbooks in his arms. So he wasn't lying.

"I see you've been studying." He suddenly felt like the stupidest person on the planet. "Not because you're avoiding me?" Changbin hung his head, Hyunjin deflating. So he was avoiding him.

"Look, about Saturday-"

"We can pretend it never happened!" Hyunjin just wanted Changbin back in his life. If it meant forgetting this whole ordeal, then so be it.

"We should." The way he said it made Hyunjin's twisted brain think that maybe Changbin didn't want to forget either.

"Should we?" That sliver of hope had him asking. Changbin finally looked at him, Hyunjin noticing the dark circles. "Hyung-"

"Do you know how hard it is for me? To see you everyday, to want to..." Hyunjin blinked. "If I could just keep pretending that you didn't like me, then maybe this wouldn't have happened." Hyunjin gasped.

“You knew?” Changbin laughed.

“Not at first. I liked to think maybe you did.” He sounded nostalgic. “It wasn’t until my party that I really knew.”His gaze met Hyunjin’s again. The younger remembered parts of that night. He surely doesn’t recall confessing.

“I told you?”

“Drunk you told me.” Hyunjin cringed, of course he’d do something stupid when he was drunk.”I told you not to drink that much.” Fair point. “It was before you fell asleep on me. I thought I heard wrong, but you said it again in your sleep.” Wow, not once, but twice he admitted to liking Changbin. To his face. And it wasn’t even romantic, _ugh_. “I was happy- for a while- that this wasn’t once sided.” _One sided_ , did that mean Changbin liked Hyunjin too?

“You like me?” Changbin nodded. “Then, I don’t get it? We both like each other. Isn’t everything okay?” Hyunjin was confused. What was wrong? They had mutual feelings, things seemed alright to him. Changbin stepped closer, brushing away some hair from the younger’s face.

“It’s not that easy.” Hyunjin frowned. “In a few months, I’ll be graduating. You won't see me anymore.”

“So, we can make time for each other!” Hyunjin tried to argue, but Changbin was shaking his head.

“It’s not that.” Changbin looked softer, younger with his heart on his sleeve. “I’m afraid you won’t like me anymore.” _What?_

“What?” He did voice, because he can’t seem to understand the conversation they’re having right now.

“We’ve been each other’s lives for years, I’m scared that when I’m not around, you'll find someone else.” Changbin was being ridiculous. Hyunjin wasn’t going to like anyone else. He hadn’t for the past seven years. Changbin graduating wasn’t going to change that.

“There is no one else. It’s always been you.” Changbin still resisted, stepping back.

“You’re still young. Your feelings can change.”

“They won’t.” He tried to show his sincerity, voice steady. Why was Changbin talking nonsense? “I promise they won’t.” Changbin shifted the textbooks in his arms, awkward.

“I can’t be sure.”

“What do I have to do to prove it?” Changbin’s face told Hyunjin he wasn’t expecting that response. “Do I have to bring you flowers everyday? Do I need to serenade you? Do you want theatrics? I can make a scene-” Changbin laughed and some of the tension floated away.

“Just,” Changbin fit himself closer, gently leaning his head on Hyunjin’s chest. The younger wasted no time, wrapping his arms around the shorter boy. “Be there. Like you’ve always been.”

Hyunjin had no idea what that meant, but for the rest of the months leading up to Changbin and Chan’s graduation, he did as asked. He was there when the team won the national cup, Changbin so loud he lost his voice. He was there when Changbin got rejected from Yonsei, holding him as he cried because he felt incoptent. Hyunjin reminded him that he got into SNU, he didn’t need to worry, and Changbin just sobbed harder. Hyunjin wasn’t sure if it was out of happiness or sadness. He held him anyway. He was there when Changbin couldn’t keep still, pacing about something or other just because. His anxious pacing made Hyunjin worry and he tackled him into a hug, planting a loud kiss on his cheek. “Stop fussing, I bet it’s silly anyway.” Changbin had proceeded to tell him he loved him and it was chaos. Hyunjin was left speechless and Changbin wouldn’t stop rambling about how idiotic that was and he shouldn’t have done it. He was careless and he forgot that he wasn’t supposed to love Hyunjin so hard- Hyunjin surprised them both by silencing the boy with a kiss. Changbin had sulked.

“That’s not why you're supposed to kiss someone.” He whined. Hyunjin still had his arms around him.

“Hm, I wonder, is there any other reason you kiss people?” Changbin pouted at his teasing and the younger couldn’t help it, he kissed him again. “I love you too.” Changbin whined some more, but for different reasons as Hyunjin kept his lips on him.

Hyunjin thought being with Changbin was going to be this revolutionary thing, his life turned upside down. But things were relatively normal. Chan still gave him rides when Changbin couldn’t. The soccer field was still his after school spot, Felix with him and pestering him about Changbin (Seungmin doing the same). He liked Changbin so much, that was unwavering, and learning more about him as his _boyfriend_ , just made him fall even more.

“How long have you liked me?” Hyunjin asked him one night. Because he was curious. Because he was dying to know if it was harbored for as long as Hyunjin had.

“Since that day, when we were kids. When you told me you wanted to kiss me.” Hyunjin’s jaw dropped.

“You’re lying!”

“I’m not.” Changbin laughed, confused by the surprise in Hyunjin’s tone. “I may have even liked you before then. That was just the day I realized maybe you could like me too.”

“That was the day I started liking you!” Hyunjin exclaimed, all but tackling the older boy onto his bed.

“Hey, get off.” Changbin was pinned down, looking up at Hyunjin with a pout. “You’re heavy.” Hyunjin rolled his eyes.

“Call me fat again and we’ll see if I ever kiss you again.”

“No!” Changbin sat up, firmly holding onto the younger’s waist. “You can’t not kiss your _boyfriend_.”

“Watch me.” Changbin groaned, thumping his head against Hyunjin’s chest repeatedly. He was mumbling apologies and Hyunjin sighed after a long minute. “Fine, but only because you’re pitiful.”

“Rude.” Hyunjin snuck a peck in.

“Cute.” Changbin blushed, a stark contrast to his normal demeanor. The way his cheeks tinted pink always gave Hyunjin great joy. He was the cause of it.

“ ‘m not cute.”

“Aw, does that mean you won’t do aegyo anymore?” His response was a cringey rendition of baby shark and Hyunjin slapped his chest. “Please stop before my ears fall off.”

“It wasn’t that bad!”

“Sure it wasn’t.” Hyunjin wiggled his way off Changbin’s lap, to sit beside him. “Why did you never tell me before, that you liked me?” Changbin’s smile dropped. He stayed silent for a while, as if thinking, before he was answering the question.

“You were a kid back then, tiny and cute and I felt bad for liking you. Kids my age were falling for the older boys or girls and here I was crushing on baby- no offense.” Hyunjin punched his shoulder anyway. “It just felt wrong… for a long time.” He reached for Hyunjin’s hand, taking it into his own and bringing it to his lips. “The older you got, the prettier you were. I was scared. You were growing into yourself and here I was head over heels. I thought I was being dumb, for liking someone younger, but you were bright and playful and I… liked it a lot.”

“You were always there, always clouding my mind. You were such a heavy part of my upbringing and I blamed my feelings on being together all our lives. Maybe I needed to see what’s out there.”

“Is that why…” He trailed off, but Changbin knew who he was referring to.

“Jisung was cute, I thought I’d give it a try, but it was never right. He didn’t feel like… you.” Hyunjin knew there had to be a reason for the boy’s sudden disappearance. “I told him I liked someone else. He’d already guessed it himself. I was ‘ _painfully obvious_ ’ in his words.”

“How come I never knew?’

“Because I kept it that way. Felix found out though, that little twerp. He threatened to tell you, but I told him I’d tell Seungmin and he shut up about it for a while.” Changbin’s hand that was holding Hyunjin’s tugged the boy in closer, until Hyunjin was resting his head on Changbin’s shoulder. “Then Seungmin had to confess and I was a lost cause. Felix encouraged me to confess, but I was nervous. Of you, of your feelings. He always assured me I wouldn’t be rejected, but I had my doubts. That maybe you’d find someone else.”

“Hyung, that’s silly.”

“No, it’s not. I have a few years on you, I’ve matured.” Hyunjin snorted. “Hey, I’m serious here.”

“Sorry, sorry- it’s just… will you stop acting like my mind is going to change? I’ve already told you, you’re the only one for me.” Changbin was vulnerable, eyes shifting the longer he stared. Hyunjin kissed him.

“Thought you weren’t going to kiss me anymore.”

“I have to, because you’ll worry yourself to death otherwise. I love you. Don’t forget that.” Changbin was close to tears, and Hyunjin cried out, “If you cry, i’ll cry with you.” A wet laugh, followed by Changbin wiping at his eyes.

“I can’t cry properly with you around, you always put a smile on my face.”

“Then I’m doing something right.” Changbin leaned in this time, connecting their lips softly.

“I love you so, so much.” His voice wavered. “I’m lucky to have you.”

“You are, no one else would put up with your childish mood swings.” Changbin threw a pillow at him. Cue the pillow fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say a few things because I feel it goes unsaid a lot throughout this, what with Hyunjin normally being awkward around Changbin soemtimes, but they are technically friends. So if it seems that their dynamic has changed drastically from how the previously were, they haven't. It's just Hyunjin being more of himself now that he knows how Changbin really feels. So their dynamic was always sort of playful, but because of Hyunjin's crush, he often found himself not acting like he once did because he wasn't sure how much of his feelings he would reveal in doing so. but yeah... there's one last chapter after this :)


	14. realized confessions

March 20th. Hyunjin’s 18th birthday. Hyunjin woke up feeling like a new man. Well, no, not really. But he thought he should feel older. Given that he is a  _ man  _ now.

“Stop saying that.” Changbin reprimanded as he drove them back to his house. He told Hyunjin he had a surprise for him and he’s been bouncing off the walls ever since.

“But I am!” Hyunjin rebuttled, kicking his legs like a child would. That surely wasn’t helping his case. “I’m very manly.”

“The manliest.” Changbin coincided, which only made Hyunjin more fussy. Stupid Changbin for thinking any less of him. “We’re here.” Hyunjin quickly unclasped the seatbelt, ready to leap out. Changbin caught his arm. “Not so fast. It’s a surprise, remember?” Changbin got out first, circling the hood to open the door for Hyunjin. He helped him out and then covered his eyes.

“Do we really have to do this?” Hyunjin groaned as they waddled their way to Changbin’s front door. He laughed when Changbin cursed because he had to open the door (“those eyes better stay closer Hwang Hyunjin or I sear to God.”) Hyunjin was obedient, tsking as he waited for the feel of Changbin’s hand over his eyes again. Once they made it past the front hall, Changbin was moving them around, standing Hyunjin in the middle of the room.

“Okay, open your eyes.” Changbin removed his hands and when Hyunjin saw the  _ surprise _ , he all but cried. There was a giant sign that read  _ happy birthday dork _ with all kinds of pictures taped to it. Hanging from the ceiling were streamers, accompanied by balloons and a cake on the dining room table. “Happy birthday.” He said softly, wrapping the younger in his arms. They walked forward together, Hyunjin’s eyes blazing over all the photos and being hit with mixed feelings over every one.

“Where did you get these?” He asked, incredulous. There were photos from almost a decade ago taped to the board.

“Chan. His mother loves taking pictures.” He should have known. There were so many, some of all four, a few with just Changbin and Hyunjin.

“What’s this one?” Hyunjin plucked a photo off, bringing it up for Changbin to see. It was just Hyunjin, sitting on the living room floor of the Bang household. Felix wasn’t around and Hyunjin couldn’t remember having sat there by himself.

“I took that when Felix had gone off to the bathroom. He caught me taking it. That’s how he found out.” 

“And he didn’t make a scene?”

“Oh he did.” Hyunjin tried to think of the day where Changbin had been the second lead to one of Felix’s episodes. It was like a lightbulb went off.

“The day you chased Felix into the street!” Hyunjin remembered hearing rushed whispers, then Felix was shrieking and running out the door. He caught a glimpse of Changbin running after him, but they had never told him why they had run. Changbin had looked at Felix oddly and Felix had just shrugged. Hyunjin hadn’t bothered to read the signs, assuming Felix was just being Felix. “You looked so nervous that day!”

“I was scared he would tell you. I even stayed after you left, just for good measure.” Hyunjin laughed, loud and carefree.

“You shouldn’t have kept your feelings a secret for so long. We could have boyfriends for so long.”

“I think it’s better this way. We’re older, we’re wiser. If I dated thirteen old you, I’m sure we would have broken up over something stupid, like not sharing my last bag of chips.”

“But you would have shared, you always did.”

“Fine, then over the last slice of pizza.”

“You always gave me the last slice of pizza.”

“Okay, I get it, I always gave you stuff. Stop reminding me, that should have been telling enough.” Changbin his his face in Hyunjin’s neck, his breaths tickling the younger’s skin.

“I was just too caught up in my own feelings to notice.” Changbin hummed. “But we’re here now. And I want cake.” Changbin pulled away to put candles on the cake, before singing happy birthday overly obnoxious. He smiled sweetly at Hyunjin.

“Make a wish.” It had already come true. He made a wish anyway, for Changbin’s sake. He blew out the candles, the room darkened since the sun had just begun to set. Changbin stuck his finger in the icing and it was too late for Hyunjin. Buttercream covered his nose.

“Oh, you’ve done it now.” Changbin shrieked as Hyunjin smeared icing across his cheek, a batlle breaking out. They managed to snag a few bites before inevitably dropping the cake from their fierce battle “My cake.” Hyunjin cried, holding a hand over his stomach. He was laughing so hard. Changbin shrugged, closing in on the younger. 

“All the sweetness I need is right here.” Hyunjin gagged.

“That was too cheesy, even for you.” Changbin licked his cheek and Hyunjin squirmed. Changbin’s grasp was tight, the pair managing to snake their way to the wall. Changbin had him pinned. Hyunjin’s breath caught.

“Let’s see just how sweet you are.” It was a sticky mess of lips and mildly too steamy given that it was still Changbin’s parent’s house, but Hyunjin felt content, arms wrapped around the older.

Being in love with Changbin had its moments, but by far, this moment was his luckiest. He really got the boy, hadn’t he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and it's over TT - TT
> 
> I'm sorry if you guys were hoping for a different ending, but I think it's fitting for the kind of story it was... hope you liked it anyway.


End file.
